- Small wins. Yesterday was the first time in probably about two years I actually worked out. It was just a light workout, using the elliptical for 20 minutes and doing several light sets of kettlebells. So, the total workout was probably 35-40 minutes. I hope to jump start some endorphins and make this a habit.
- BoyGeeding shared a sad story with me yesterday. He said he had a hard time with his assignment in art. He was told to draw a family tradition, and that stumped him. The art teacher asked why he wasn’t drawing anything and he said we no longer have family traditions. I spoke with him about that, made sure he felt he was being heard and understood, and then gave him a few ideas of things to draw. For instance, it’s in the decree that I get them every Super Bowl Sunday, so one tradition is for us to watch the Super Bowl together.
- My ex and our daughter just do not get along. I wish there was some way I could help. I have some ideas and ways we can work together to improve their relationship, but the ex doesn’t want any of my help. Not to mention, if she claims I’m controlling and manipulating, and won’t have a discussion with me on why she feels that way, the worst thing I can do is offer advice or try to help because I’d come off as the very things she claims I am. So, I basically just serve as a sounding board to my daughter and try to get her to at least respect her mother. The person I once knew is no longer there, she’s totally different, and in some ways it’s liberating knowing she’s not longer a part of my everyday life.
- I watched the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard defamation trial live yesterday when Depp took the stand. I’m not saying anyone is guilty or innocent. But like him, I felt my ex had defamed me by telling others she was emotionally abused and not correcting her family when they told our children I physically hurt her. The first time I ever knew or heard she felt like that was when she said it to a judge. It still boggled my mind she never once informed me how she felt before pulling the kids out of school early and then driving 110 miles away and only communicate to me through her mother. Under her own will, she confessed her infidelity. My feelings were hurt, and I got upset. If anything, I felt emotionally abused and manipulated. Who makes abandonment and divorce their first step after 17-years of marriage and two children in a Christian marriage and not some form of counseling?
- I’ve been meaning to tell you about my experience of having to take a court mandated psychology examination so that my children could stay overnight with me and I could have more than nine hours a week with them. It was a very traumatic and unnecessary experience. If she didn’t twist my words, get my estranged sister of five years to testify and lie on the stand, exaggerate my depression and the pain medication I take for my back, one wouldn’t have been ordered.
- It took three visits and about four months for me to complete. It felt like forever between my three appointments. Sessions ranged from two to four hours. Not knowing when he was going to finish writing up his report and turning it in to the court was excruciating. I wanted the process over as fast as possible so I could spend more time with my kids.
- I had to request my medical records from all my doctors, even my dermatologist and allergist, and have them sent over directly to his office.
- The court psychologist was straight out of central casting. Dry and emotionless, never smiled once. He often came across as blunt and rude, but in a way as if he wasn’t aware. I never had a clue on where I stood with him. He had a great poker face. It was intimidating as all get out. His office was next to a cemetery, which I feared was foreshadowing.
- During my first session, I had to fill out a questionnaire or a test of sorts. This was the very first question I had to answer, and I was only provided two lines of space to answer. Keep in mind, access to my children was riding on how I answered – “Describe your childhood.”
- I can’t exactly remember how I answered, but it was something along the lines of, “I grew up in a middle-income family in a small Texas town to a loving retired Army officer and Vietnamese mother who were 24 years apart in age. I was an A-B student who was active in sports and church youth group. My brother was seven years older and my parents adopted my cousin from Vietnam my senior year in high school.
- My second session comprised of taking several tests, similar to ink blot tests, puzzles, and quizes which had no rhyme or reason. It was nerve-racking leaving having no sense where I stood or how well or bad I did.
- I learned my ex was interviewed, there was no telling how she distorted things.
- In my third session, I had to orally answer a lot of questions. The first question was to tell him about all my past romantic relationships. Well, my ex was my only girlfriend and the only person I’ve ever kissed. That was a special gift I wanted to give her, one she never appreciated.
- Once the report was finally written and provided to my attorney, I made sure to show it to my soon to be ex as soon as possible. Just seeing my kids nine hours a week was killing me, and I wasn’t able to give them a kiss goodnight throughout this entire ordeal. The report said I was not a threat or danger to myself or others and there was no need to restrict the children from me. She had plans that evening and I was hoping to watch the kids when she went out with her friends. Who better to watch the kids than their own father in their own home? Well, she felt the kids were better off being watched by a young teenage boy. I wasn’t going to allow her or her lawyer to have a copy of it until an NDA was signed. There’s no telling how she’ll use it against me. And I’m certain she’s already broken the NDA by telling her mother, sisters, and best friend everything she could remember or even providing them a copy she got from he lawyer. She and her attorney drug their feet making me wait an entire week before giving me more time with the kids. They finally got to have an overnight visit with me the last week of their summer vacation.
- What hurt through this whole process was how she alienated the kids from me. She kept saying she wanted to go by exactly what the judge said. But the judge said we could mutually agree to more than what’s on the order, and there were times she bent the rules. Like, when she was having a mattress delivered and she let me have the kids an hour longer. So, anytime it was in her benefit. But it was cruel not wanting me to see them on Father’s Day. What really stung was the last week of school in which she had to attend teacher work days and the kids didn’t attend school. I lived less than a mile away from her apartment, and since I worked from home, I could easily watch the kids when she was at work, like we always have done. The kids even wanted to stay with me when she was at work. But to alienate the kids from me, she arranged for her mother and sister to alternate days, driving 110 miles away, just to watch the kids in her apartment that whole week. What she doesn’t understand to this day is her actions set a precedent for how we handle things now. I plan for the future and make my decisions based on her past actions. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
- These women claim to follow Christ, but nothing about this process was Christ-like. She was never willing to verbally talk and meet with me, even with a third-party of her choice. What’s funny is her maiden name has two t’s – the Christian symbol for a cross. When you take that first symbol of Christianity out, you are literally left with “Satan”.
- The judge also ordered both of us to take a six week parallel parenting course. Each class lasted three hours. It was excruciating having to be with her and hearing the instructor tell us over and over again about our failed marriage. The instructor’s last name was a bit ominous. Her name was “Threats”, but it was pronounced in a way that rhymes with “streets”. Yesterday I was talking to a friend in a divorce support group and he was telling me about his experience with their child facilitator, who has the name “Savage”.
- Amid a teacher shortage, some Texas educators are losing their licenses for quitting during the school year
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- States with the Highest & Lowest Tax Rates
- Texas residents also don’t pay income tax, but spend 1.8% of their income on real estate taxes, one of the highest rates in the country. Compare these to California, where residents owe almost 5% of their income in sales and excise taxes, and just 0.76% in real estate tax.
- This was the top comment in the Texas subreddit I found this story in.
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- Corporate and personal income taxes are low and zero, respectively.
- Sales taxes are on par with most western states, above average for eastern states.
- Property taxes are high, a combination of high statutory rates, soaring home prices, and lack of income taxes.
- The government’s user charges and fees for things like vehicle registration tend to be low.
- Gasoline taxes are low, but road tolls are high.
- Utility prices are often below average, but electricity costs more than it should, especially after last year’s winter storm.
Overall, Texas has clearly graduated into a medium cost of living state with at least a medium tax burden. Certain cities like Austin and Dallas can be on the higher side of medium, while other areas are still medium or lower medium. For the upper half of Texans, the spread between wages and cost of living still seems to be good. This isn’t the case for the lower half of Texans, especially with cost-of-living inflation over the past decade compared to wage growth.