WASHINGTON D.C.- As George â€œDubyaâ€ Bush limps towards the final stage of his presidency, he will face what is sure to be less-than-pleasant response from the New York Giant faithful.
Sources inside the NFL league office told SSNN that Bush mistakenly placed a congratulatory call to New England coach Bill Belichick â€“ rather than Tom Coughlin and the New York Giants â€“ only moments after the Giants halted the Patriotsâ€™ run at a fourth title in seven years and unprecedented 19-0 season with a 17-14 upset victory in Super Bowl XLII. When asked to comment, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino attempted to cover the presidentâ€™s tracks.
â€œPresident Bush deeply regrets having rushed to such a premature and improperly-influenced decision. The only reason we can possibly conjure for such inexplicable behavior is the fact that the President didnâ€™t even watch the game,â€ Perino added. â€œHe had been watching ESPN all week, and just assumed New England would win â€“ as did all the east coast chumps who think Tom Brady is the second coming of Christ. Someone â€“ I think it was Dickâ€” er, Mr. Cheney â€“ told him the Patriots had not lost a game yet this season, and he immediately requested coach Belichickâ€™s cell phone number and MySpace account information.â€
When asked if a call would be placed to Coughlin and the Giants in an attempt to rectify the error, Perino was unwilling to step out.
â€œRight now we have no certainty that our original information regarding the Giantsâ€™ contact numbers is correct, and Mr. Bush has insisted that we hold all future congratulatory calls until all the facts are in. The last thing he wants is another rush to judgment. Plus, believe it or not, there are several other tasks that have been taking up a lot of the Presidentâ€™s time â€“ heâ€™s been working on a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle for nearly a month now, and this Iraq thing is not going to sort itself out.â€