I don’t think I’m a fan of McNeese State’s baseball field. The school was founded in 1939 as Lake Charles Junior College, and renamed McNeese Junior College after John McNeese, an early local educator. Their mascot is the Cowboys. I’m sorry, but when I think of Louisiana, “cowboys” don’t come to mind. The McNeese State University newspaper is The Contraband and the yearbook is called The Log. There are 14 Greek organizations on campus. I hate Greek organizations. Once I find out someone was affiliated with a Greek organization, I automatically think less of that person. Joe Dumars is the school’s most famous alumni, followed by R. C. Slocum.
R. C. Slocum is from Orange, Texas. Orange has several high schools. The first two I looked up had school colors of red and blue, not orange.
In Orange, TX, the nearly completed Confederate Memorial of the Wind is being built on private land at the intersection of Interstate 10 and Martin Luther King Jr Drive. It has 13 columns arranged in a circle, one for each Confederate state. It will display 32 flags representing U.S. Civil War units from Texas, along with eight large Confederate flags visible from the highway. Supposedly, the location was chosen because of the low cost of land in the area.
Yesterday, the House of Representatives passed a bill making lynching a federal hate crime. Seems like a no-brainer. The bill sailed through with bipartisan support, but three Republicans – Reps. Andrew Clyde (Ga.), Thomas Massie (Ky.) and Chip Roy (Texas) – voted against it. Roy had this to say about lynching a year ago, “We believe in justice. There’s old sayings in Texas about ‘find all the rope in Texas and get a tall oak tree,’” he said. “You know, we take justice very seriously, and we ought to do that. Round up the bad guys. That’s what we believe.”
It brings much joy to my heart every time I hear Art Briles has been fired or was forced to resign. No one believed me that he was a horrible person, which I’ve been preaching since high school. The man is rich enough; he doesn’t need to work another day in his life. And that’s the sweet part. He wants to work, particularly in college, yet no one can tolerate employing him.
I really admire the President of Ukraine, even if he’s not going to be in power (or alive) much long.
Spring break is around the corner. The stupid divorce decree states I get to keep the kids on even-numbered years. Since my daughter is going through a rough time, I’m toying with the idea of taking her and her brother to Harry Potter fan to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for spring break. A loyal reader works for a travel company and reached out to me with a great offer..
My daughter has her very first softball game this Friday. It’s an all day tournament, with one game in the morning, another in the afternoon, and another in the early evening. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, especially since it’s her first ever softball game. However, when she first told her mother of the event, she stated she could only make the evening game because of work. My daughter told me that disappointed her, and I understand why. I guess her mother sensed it and followed up with, “I can take the day off and go, if you want me to?” That brought back some hurtful memories. There were a lot of moments throughout our marriage that I wanted my wife’s support with her simply attending a function or event of mine. I hoped to have a supportive wife who would want to be there to support me on her own without being asked. But she always made it sound like her attendance was a burden or hinderance by qualifying, “If you want me to?” I mean, what does she expect either me or my daughter to say? That puts a person in an awkward spot. I’m sure she had well-meaning intentions, but she’s always been oblivious to how insincere and cold-hearted she comes across.
Ninety-nine percent of Americans couldn’t tell you the color of Ukraine’s flag, much less what it looked like, before last week. It’s yellow on the bottom to represent its wheat fields (they are a major wheat exporter) and the blue on top represents the sky.
CBS Sunday Morning had two great segments on Ukraine. This first segment, around the 21-second mark, will tell you why they don’t like being called “The Ukraine”, a common thing I used to say, and its long history with Russia. In short, they find it patronizing to use “The” as they are their own independent country (well, at least for now) and you wouldn’t go around saying “The Germany” or “The France”. They also had this four-minute segment, which is a Putin biography and his rise to power.
My best friend and I watched the re-release of The Godfather at AMC Theatres in Grapevine on Saturday. At first, I was hesitant, since I’ve seen it a plethora of times on television, but I’m glad I did. There’s something about the cinema experience that makes it special, and I noticed several visual things I missed even watching it on an 60-inch HDTV. Also, it’s fun watching it along with a fellow movie trivia buddy and being able to quietly chit-chat about it in the almost empty theater. I also went because, well, I had nothing better to do. It was my weekend without my kids. I call those my “empty weekends.” So it was just a good way to get out of the house and eat up three to four hours.
Marlon Brando was 46-years-old when he starred in The Godfather. I’m currently 46. I know Brando had makeup on, but it feels weird being the age of someone who was supposed to be “old” in the film.
For the longest time, I held a grudge against Ryan Reynolds. I shouldn’t have. He’s a good man and actor. I mention him because I watched Deadpool for the first time on Friday evening. Thanks to him, I literally caught myself laughing out loud at something on television for the first time since my life turned upside down. It was a moment of growth, a sign that I may actually be getting better emotionally. What was it I laughed at? This end credit scene, a great homage to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Specifically, the very last thing he does/says. It was just that little bit extra nostalgic humor which did the trick.
For a while after our separation, my ex would continue to attend our church and we’d sit in the same row with the children between us. Later, she emailed me saying she wanted to set some boundaries, and for me to no longer sit in the same row with them, and the children would choose who they wanted to sit with. I didn’t like the idea whatsoever. I thought of all places, we could get along together in church, and just sitting in the same row was a simple sacrifice for the children as we show them that two adults can get along even if they no longer are married. She feared giving the kids and church members a false impression. I didn’t like the idea of literally making the kids choose a parent. But my children’s therapist told me how important that particular church was to them, and for me to compromise by sitting elsewhere, so I complied. She only brought the kids for a handful more visits. Our daughter always preferred sitting next to me, and our son would alternate. The last time I saw her at church was when the children were staying with me on that weekend. She was sitting alone in church, and when one of her favorite old hymns played, she felt it was too much and left. I haven’t seen her in the church since and they have been visiting elsewhere telling the children the church held too many memories. We’ve been attending for about 15 years. Yesterday at church, to my surprise, my children showed up and sat to the left and right of me. It was such a pleasant and delightful surprise. But my daughter said she felt sorry for her mother who was sitting by herself and how she and her brother made a bee-line towards me once they entered the sanctuary.
As harsh as it sounds, and I am judging, but I don’t understand why she attends church but doesn’t apply basic Christian principles in her life. Sometime the kids will flat out tell me they are confused by it. One of the last sermons they heard while visiting a church was about divorce, and my kids were wondering what she was thinking but felt too scared to ask her.
During the sermon, my kids will doodle and color. My ten-year-old son and I play and talk Wordle often. As a matter of fact, right before they entered, I was playing Wordle during the praise (singing) part of the service (forgive me, Father, for I have Wordled in thy own house). I’ll be honest, I felt like I was slightly cheating, looking for five-lettered words in the song lyrics displayed on the projector screen. My son cracked me up because he created a Wordle puzzle on the church bulletin for me to play during the sermon. The word ended up being “ALERT”.
My ex and I had trouble finding common ground yesterday, but I found a silver lining. I will often ask her yes/no binary type of questions in an effort to find something we agree on and be able to build from there. Yesterday, she stated for years when I do that; she felt like I was controlling her. That I was getting her to agree to something she wasn’t comfortable with. It was good to hear that feedback, I just wish she would have been up front and shared that years ago. I let her know it was never my intention for that to be a controlling technique, but I don’t think she believed me. But, at least I know it’s something that bothers her and I can go about trying to find common ground another way.
Most of the time, when I ask those binary yes/no questions, she will stay quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time and then provide an answer that doesn’t answer the question. She tried to explain she was answering the question, just not how I wanted it to answer. I explained to her that’s like saying 2+2=Blue. “Blue” is an answer, but it’s an inappropriate answer to that particular question.
I ended that call with one of those binary yes/no questions. I told her I was tired of the fighting and want to have a good friendly co-parenting relationship and mentioned some concessions I was willing to make. With that in mind, I asked her if she would be willing to be nicer to me and I would do the same. That’s all I asked. Her answer was nothing but silence.
I gave my ex some advice her mother gave me. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Instead of coming at me with all guns blazing, just ask me nicely and I’ll be accommodating as long as I know I’m not being taken advantage of.
One of my loyal readers is a friend of her family and he always shares information with me. I was told my ex’s sister reads this blog and will tell my ex the “lies” I write about. That hurts. I’ve never lied about anything regarding our failed marriage and relationship. Not one single time. Nor have I exaggerated anything. This is the sister who told my son and daughter that I physically hurt my ex, which is totally false. I continue to be disappointed in both my ex and her sister for not taking the time to clear up “the miscommunication.” All I asked was for them to speak to our children and make sure they understand their father wasn’t a wife-beater. When I asked, the answer I got was, “I’m not required to do that.”
It also hurts our children are being told by my ex and her family not to trust me and that I’m a manipulator. I told my ex at the start of this that I will always do my best to have the children to continue to love and respect her.
My ex’s siblings never accepted or liked me. That was clear when one of them texted a picture of a candle with the label. “We didn’t like him anyway.” I always suspected it, but now I know that’s true. I worked hard just to be liked by them. For instance, when my ex became a deacon at the church, I sent all of them a text with a photo of the ordination explaining how proud I was of their sister. Not a one of them replied. That is not a lie, that is truth.
I always explained my relationship with my ex’s siblings like this. If we were in high school, we wouldn’t eat at the same lunch table, but we’d still say hi to each other in the hall and would be okay working on group projects together. I felt they were good people at the core, it’s just we didn’t have the right chemistry. I wish them well and hope they and my children will enjoy their outing to Universal.
It saddens me that my ex will copy and paste messages I send to her through our court appointed app into emails and forward them to her mother and sister to rip me apart. Heck, they wish I would be put in jail (they should wish for my death, at least there’s a death payout. It would be great if they stopped doing that kind of stuff. I’m still the father of their sister’s children and not the monster they make me out to be. The failed marriage didn’t happen solely because of me, she admitted emotional infidelity. I don’t have a relationship with them anymore, just wear your green and gold and leave me alone. Keeping our children away from me was cruel enough. What else do they want to happen to me? Last year, I lost my wife, family and house, had an unwelcome job change, paid over $40,000 in legal fees, and had a major health scare. Stop kicking a man when he’s down who is trying to rebuild his life, make thing right with his ex, and be there for his children. I’ve apologized, asked for forgiveness, and repented. Sure, I understand they want to defend their relative, but the divorce is over. Be nice. Everybody be nice. My intention is to heal any wound I may have caused to my ex, directly explain myself, defend my parental rights, learn from and let go of the past, and try to build a healthy and friendly co-parenting relationship. But because my ex has told others I was an emotional abuser, never went to a single counseling session and made divorce the very first option, and her sister telling our children (and who knows who else) that I physically hurt my ex, I’m going to use my one and only platform to tell the truth (and vent a little). Also, a lot of my readers have expressed appreciation for my honesty and transparency and that it helps them grow. They appreciate I don’t hide my flaws and shortcomings. I still have a lot more to tell. Maybe my story will help another person going through unfortunate circumstances. I wish I could adequately express how much I appreciate other fathers who have gone through something similar share their story.
I hear my ex is exploring other schools for our children to attend, like a STEM academy or school. Unfortunately, I have no control of that, but I know for sure it will break our children’s heart to leave their current school. They’ve been through enough change with the divorce and loss of the house.
I wish I could handle things as gracefully and eloquently like the current press secretary. But, I am a work in progress, perhaps I’ll get there.
WH Press Sec. Jen Psaki on Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) calling her “Peppermint Patty” at CPAC:
“I like Peppermint Patty, so I’m not gonna take it too offensively … I’m a little tougher than that.” pic.twitter.com/dOoHnFRAcY
It’s weird having to resist doing nice things, which you have to do when you’re divorced. For instance, yesterday I picked the kids up from school. I saw the windshield of the SUV I used to own with the woman I was married to was covered in ice. If we were still married, I would have instantly pulled over and scraped the ice off the SUV so could safely make her way home. But I can’t do that for the woman who divorced me because certain folks would accuse me of stalking.
Here’s an old but interesting story (with video) of a woman who had her cancerous tongue replaced it with a part of her thigh. She doesn’t sound too bad.
Now that our daughter has revealed, like her father, that she struggles with negative thoughts which questions her value to the world, I hope my ex and her mother don’t use it against her like they used it against me in court. Hopefully, they will show her love and compassion, as they chose not to do with me.
Dedicated Love – Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time – A woman in Atlanta says she has quit her job in order to pump enough breast milk to feed her bodybuilding boyfriend every two hours.
Here’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt talking about how big of a Mark Cuban fan he is, how Cuban made a smart move regarding Uber, proclaiming his love for Dirk and the Mavs while wearing a Mavs hat, and how he got Cuban to be in his film.
