Today is my late father’s birthday, he would have been 99. I really could have used his counsel and support over the past year and a half. Even though he’s not alive, I think I might do something special in his honor next year. It could be something simple, like buying a cake for the kids to eat, or me jumping out of a plane.
Did Hell freeze over recently? I’m shocked this happened, much less was successful, in Houston – City of Houston calls first annual gun buyback event a success – Lines of cars could be seen wrapped around the block at Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church in southeast Houston where the event was held. Officials collected 845 guns and say they gave out nearly $100,000 in gift cards throughout the event.
I wonder how many times former President Trump has changed his will over the past ten years. I’m better it’s in the teens.
I’ve got major trust issues. I often look back at my 18-year marriage, which ended in divorce. Sometimes, I have some significant memories that make me smile about something my ex said or did. But, somewhere along the line, she faked the sincerity and really stopped caring. I’m left wondering about compliments she gave me which I held close to my heart (like her saying I have a great way of talking to our children) were genuine, or just a lie to make her life easier. During the divorce, I lost a 27-year friendship with my closest friend. I used to tell others this guy was my most sincere friend, and we would tell each other we never needed to explain ourselves about something we said or did because of the substance we built over the years, and we knew each other’s heart. I always valued his direct criticism. He knew every secret about me. I trusted him more than my wife or my parents. At the start of the divorce, I would reach out to him often for moral support because the loneliness and isolation were killing me. I feared I was reaching out too often, interrupting his life. But when I asked, he said I could never be a bother, and he’s available 24/7. However, one day he emailed stating he wouldn’t have internet access for two weeks. At the end of those two weeks, I tried to contact him to no avail. One day I received an email from him asking me to read it with an open mind. In the blunt and direct letter, he pointed out how frustrating and annoying I was, how he’s been putting up with me for years, I was definitely interrupting his life, and he lied about not having internet access to get away from me. I was hurt, but did what he asked, I read it with an open mind. My counselor and I have been working on everything he addressed after I shared the email with him. I’m not going to say that friend is a backstabber, but I felt backstabed. Like my ex, I wonder about the stuff he did or said that I valued was genuine, and how long I’ve been holding on to a lie. So, last year, I not only mourned the loss of my best friend (my ex) but also my closest friend. These were people I thought I could trust, and their words and actions were sincere. I fell for the false sincerity hook, line, and sinker. Nowadays, I try to guard my heart and always question and wonder if someone is sincerely being nice to me, or are they faking it and I’m falling for it like I did with my best and closest friends. I hope I don’t turn into a cynic and will learn to trust again.
