Bag of Randomness for Wednesday, August 19, 2020

For reasons unknown to the whole family except for WifeGeeding, during the middle of supper, she decided to take out her prosthetic-eye and place it on top of the watermelon. We all thought it was pretty out of place but pretty funny. She finished dinner eye-less, which is probably something you can’t write about your wife. And yes, that’s a smiley face on it, it’s not visible when it’s in her ocular cavity. Usually, she has her initials in that place, but her ocularist opted for a smiley face last time.

I could do without ever seeing another Uber Eats commercial again. I hope to never hear Return of the Mack ever again.

I haven’t spent much time researching it, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a photo of President Trump with his sleeves rolled up. He prefers to wear a polo type shirt in those type of situations.

This sentence took me a little while to process: An Alabama man who calls himself a witch has been charged with kidnapping the toddler son of a missing Georgia woman, the Sun-Sentinel reports.

This sentence also took me a little while to process: An Arkansas farmer disguised himself as a woman to sneak into a cemetery and deface the grave of his longtime nemesis with animal carcasses, police say

Lego piece falls out of New Zealand boy’s nose after being stuck for two yearsSameer Anwar’s parents thought the lost piece of Lego was long gone – until their son took a great big sniff of a plate of cupcakes

Yet another story which reminds me of The Simpsons episode in which homer stuck a crayon in his nose when he was a kid.

I wonder if Jaws is her favorite movie.

Michigan governor caught on hot mic: ‘It’s shark week mother f******’

Just a new form of window shopping?

Berlin brothels reopen after lockdown, but no sex allowed

To save you a click, massages are allowed.

I’m reminded of a certain Wheel of Fortune segment on a South Park episode.

Charlotte Hornets suspend radio announcer who tweeted N-word instead of ‘Nuggets’

Don’t watch this, I repeat, do not watch this YouTube clip if you are easily offended, marginally offended, know nothing about South Park, or do not like South Park humor.

Budweiser wants to be Utah’s official state beer, suggests can with Delicate Arch and LDS temple

How the US government built a top-secret iPod right under Steve Jobs’ nose
Only four people at Apple knew about the project at the time

For a period of time starting in 2005, Apple allowed two US government contractors to work in its offices to develop a custom version of the iPod — but exactly what that iPod would do was a mystery, and remains so today, as shared in this fascinating story by former iPod engineer David Shayer that you should go read.

This Historic House For Sale In Missouri Comes With Its Very Own Jail

Listed for $350,000, the 2,465-square-foot home has two bedrooms, two baths and — what’s this about picture #30? — a secret prison.

According to House of Brokers Realty, hidden away inside 203 E. Morrison is the former Howard County jailhouse, originally established in 1875. It’s equipped with nine cells, a booking room and a toilet.

“The cell door lock throws appear to be operational,” reads the ominous caption of the property listing.

America Has Two Feet. It’s About to Lose One of Them.For decades, U.S. metrologists have juggled two conflicting measurements for the foot. Henceforth, only one shall rule.

How big is a foot? In the United States, that depends on which of the two official foot measurements you are talking about. If it comes as a surprise that there are two feet, how about this: One of those feet is about to go away.

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