Things a Man Should Never Do After the Age of 30

1. Use the word party as a verb.

6. Do impressions of Austin Powers characters, especially Dr. Evil.

9. Crash on a friend’s floor or couch.

13. Apply paint to your face for any reason at all.

16. Know the names of the current Real World cast.

21. Own a beanbag chair.

22. Hang art framelessly.

34. Divide a restaurant bill with a friend in any way other than 50-50.

38. Wear a jersey with the name of a professional athlete on the back.

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