Spera in Deo Withdrawals

My favorite East Coast pastor has taken a sabbatical from his online journal Spera in Deo.  He hasn’t posted since May 22.  Not only that, but I haven’t seen a comment from him on BagOfNothing.com or received an email from him in quite some time.

There are many conspiracy theories what has happened to him:

  • He hasn’t been seen since taking off on an Oceanic Airline flight from Sydney, Australia.
  • He has taken over the realms from Jerry Falwell as Provost at Liberty University.  His first action was to declare the Internet as immoral and homosexual and thus has banned the Internet from the campus.
  • NathanLibre.jpgHe has joined a monastery in Mexico and is secretly wrestling as ‘The Albino Monk’ to raise funds for an orphanage.
  • He is spending time in a Dublin jail for stealing one of The Edge’s guitars and skull caps.
  • His wife has grounded him from the Internet. 
  • He is busy trying to crack the Di Vinci code.
  • ‘The Others’ have him.
  • He’s in Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq . . . and still have not found them.  Hmmmm, go figure.
  • His wife is pregnant and they are in Nambia, Africa preparing to give birth to baby Shiloh – nowhere near a Wi-Fi hotspot
  • He is busy taking part in the latest Survivor reality game show series.
  • He’s roaming the Nile.
  • He has been suspended for an illegal substace and is playing football in Canada.
  • He is traveling around with Benny Hinn.  Benny has taken a liking towards Nathan and has become his understudy.
  • Writing for The Colbert Report really has him busy.
  • He is busy training for an Ultimage Fighting cage match.
  • He is recovering from plastic surgery that will make him look like a famous Irish rock star.
  • He’s addicted to online gambling.
  • He’s working for Haliburton in Iraq.
  • He decided to pull a Forrest Gump and run across the country or is busy ‘running to stand still.’
  • He ran into Tara Leigh Cobble and is trying to talk some common sense into her.  He is slowly realizing this is impossible.
  • He’s addicted to Fox News.
  • He’s busy typing the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42 into an old computer every 108 minutes.
  • He still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.
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One Response to Spera in Deo Withdrawals

  1. Nathan Hart says:

    HILARIOUS! dude, this is funny.

    many of your theories are very close to the truth. well, not really. in reality, i’ve been a) away for a week with my youth group kids from church, on a service trip, b) away for another week with my wife’s family at camp, c) training the guy we hired at church to replace me, because d) i’m gearing up for my new job as NYC Area Director of FOCUS

    and, i’ll be mailing your package this week (i haven’t forgotten!).

    PS. the picture is freakin perfect.

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