No Love in an Elevator

This morning I’m walking into my office building and I just happen to be a little behind a female office worker, let’s call her Shirly.  She walks into an elevator and the doors begin to shut.  I was a little surprised that she didn’t hold the door for me, so I stuck my arm between the doors as they were closing so I can trigger the safety mechanism to make them reopen again, which they did.

As I entered, this usually bubbly person has a look of fear on her face and tells me, “Never do that again!” 

“Do what?” I replied.

“You could have lost your arm.”

I then started to laugh and told her “Don’t be silly.”

That was when her eyes turned red and steam started to come out of her ears and the atmosphere suddenly became uncomfortable.  Shirly then decided to tell me, “I’m only trying to look out for you, when a person gives you advice you take it!  Have you not seen that article . . .

“Yes, I know what story you are talking about, but I wasn’t going to lose my arm.”


“The doors never shut on me, I just tapped them to trigger the safety mechanism to have them reopen.”

She then walked with me about 100 or so feet as I made way to me lowly cubical  lecturing me on how when someone gives me advice, I need to take it and what she said wasn’t silly. 

I tried to tell her that I didn’t mean to purposely upset her and that she shouldn’t take anything I said personally, but I also let her know that I didn’t want her advice and I wasn’t going to lose my arm.

She responded with a tad bit of rage, “Well then, GOD BLESS YOU!”

Who knows, maybe I’m in the wrong.  My one-eyed wife could have been married to a one-armed husband.  Or maybe I ran into another women who feels like she’s the boss of everyone.


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