BagOfNothing.com

I was tagged by Twisted Cinderella. I NEVER do these things, but since I have never been asked by a Canandian I figured I would give this a wirl.

Ten Years Ago. September 1995
I was a freshman at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, TX probably bugging Geeky Gabe and eating at “The Table.” Man how I miss the table talks. I was also rooming with Jimi, aka “The Man.” About 30 lbs lighter than I am now.

Five Years Ago. September 2000
I was working in the same place I am now except in a different department shaggin’ inbound calls wearing one of those phone headsets which is equivilent to a dog being on a leash. Also was working on my MBA, and living with brotherGeeding sleeping on the coach trying to get up on my feet. Also wondering if I should be in a half-asian monastery because my luck with girls and dating sucked. About 15 lbs lighter than I am now.

One Year Ago. September 2004
Living in an apartment with wifeGeeding and dogGeeding in hopes of one day owning Geeding Manor. Working in the same department I am in now under a new manager who looks like Hermie the Elf from the Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer claymation special.

Yesterday
Dragged myself to work. Got home, played with dogGeeding and otherDogGeeding. Worked out, played Madden 2006 online. Spent “quality time” with wifeGeeding. Worked on a weak WiFi signal. Watched “our” tv shows. Watched the Daily Show with Jon Stewart whom I’m afraid I have a man crush on.

Five Songs I know All The Words To:
1. Just about anything U2.
2. McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut.
3. Numerous praise and worship songs.
4. Summer of ’69 (Jimi quit, Joanny got married . . .)
5. Fun Dean Martin songs.

Five Snacks:
1. Smurfs. Opps, that for Gargamel, not me.
2. South Beach Peanut Butter Protein Bar.
3. Triscuits.
4. Grapes.
5. Chocolate something or the other.

Five things I’ll do with a million dollars.
1. Make up for any missed tything.
2. Quite my job and work on a doctorate.
3. Pay for Bone to go back to college (and living expenses) and get a teacher’s certificate.
4. Take care of debt.
5. Invest or start my own pyramid scheme.

Five places I’d run away to:
1. The bathroom.
2. The batting cages.
3. Eating lunch with my best guy friends. You know who you are.
4. My XBox.
5. Bowling

Five things I would never wear:
1. Corduroy
2. Anything Pink
3. Female clothing.
4. Bell bottoms.
5. Western wear.

Five Favorite TV Shows:
1. The Daily Show With John Stewart
2. Reality TV – The Apprentice, Survivor, The Amazing Race
3. NFL Football
4. The West Wing
5. Lost
Honorable Mention: Mythbusters

Five Greatest Joys:
1. Hearing laughter from loved ones.
2. Madden 2006 on XBox Live
3. Playing with dogGeeding.
4. Throwing the football (I miss doing this with Bone)
5. Knowing I tricked wifeGeeding into marrying me.

Five Favourite Toys:
1. wifeGeeding
2. dogGeeding and otherDogGeeding
3. XBox Live
4. www.bagofnothing.com
5. HDTV

Current Reads
1. America The Book
2. Mens Health magazine (potty reading)
3. Blue Like Jazz
4. Walk On – The Spiritual Journey of U2
5. Luann and Tank MacNamarra Comic Strips.
6. Peter King’s Monday Morning Quaterback
7. Any ESPN Page 2 Bill Simmons article

People You Would Like To Tag
Bone
Jimi
Gabe
Bosban
Kimwise
Tim
Penguin

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims, “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands, visibly shaken.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

I learned about this Borowitz guy from Bag reader OLC. It’s a great daily read for a nice little laugh in the morning. This was Wednesday’s entry:

BUSH PRAISES SWIFTNESS OF HURRICANE RITA PHOTO-OPS
But Says Government Must Create Impression of Concern Even Faster in Future

In a televised speech to the nation last night, President George W. Bush praised the Federal government for responding swiftly to Hurricane Rita with well-crafted, high-quality photo opportunities showing him looking concerned, but said that the government needs to create the impression of concern even faster in the future.

Mr. Bush said the fact that the government provided the first images of him looking grave and engaged in the crisis even before Hurricane Rita slammed into the Texas and Louisiana coastline showed that it had learned the lessons of Hurricane Katrina.

“After Hurricane Katrina, it was hours before the American people saw the first photos of me furrowing my brow and looking serious,” Mr. Bush said. “But with Rita, we had high-quality images of me looking worried right from the get-go.”

While praising the swiftness of the government’s photo-op response to Rita, the president said that “much work still needs to be done” to ensure that the government will produce high-quality post-disaster photo-ops even faster in the future.

To that end, he said he was creating a new government bureaucracy, the Federal Emergency Image Management Agency, which would provide the president with lighting, cameras, and dramatic backdrops within minutes of any national emergency.

“In times of crisis, the president needs to send the American people the following message,” the president concluded. “Message: I look like I care.”

Elsewhere, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher wed in a private ceremony over the weekend, vowing to love, honor and obey each other longer than Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney.