Confessions of an Ivy League House Cleaner

Kia Grasty makes $140,000 cleaning up after Penn’s messiest students—and after her tales (and photos) of clogged toilets and feces-laden bathtubs, few would begrudge her it.

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It’s 10:30 p.m. on a Saturday in Philadelphia, and 51-year-old Kia Katrina Grasty, donning only her pajamas, is heading to a frat party.

Pulling up in her white GMC envoy truck to one of the University of Pennsylvania’s unofficial fraternity houses on Pine Street, Grasty marches confidently into the bash, shuts down the deejay and makes an urgent announcement: everyone needs to look for a package belonging to Penn junior Jack Cortese, one of the students living in the house.

Jack’s mother—actress Kim Delaney of NYPD Blue—was frantic that Jack hadn’t yet received the high-end suit and shoes she had overnighted for his upcoming internship interview. When Delaney couldn’t reach her son on the phone that night, she called Grasty. Unable to refuse the mother of a “privileged” client, Grasty darted out of bed immediately and took control of the situation.

“We need to look for a package!” she declares to the glassy-eyed college kids, who somewhat obediently stop carousing to search among strewn beer cups, cigarette stubs and other detritus. Moments later, Grasty emerges victorious from behind a bench on the front porch. “Got it!” she yells, and like clockwork the show goes on. Grasty can go home for the night, but she’ll be back soon enough to mop up the mess. That’s her job, after all.

Read the reast at TheDailyBeast.com.

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Bag of Randomness

  • I took a CPR/defibrillator course at work yesterday.  I wasn’t aware those things cost at least a grand.
  • A razor was in our defibrillator kit and the instructor asked the class the purpose of it.  The lady from HR, thinking it was a straight edge, said to slit a person’s throat.  She then clarified and stated that it’s to help make an airway.  Turns out it’s for shaving a man’s (or hey, maybe a woman’s) chest to place the electrical sticker pads on.
  • ‘Gourmet’ is a grossly overused word.
  • Yes, IN-N-Out Burger opened two locations yesterday.  No, I didn’t go.  I didn’t want to wait over three hours in line.  Can a building hold that amount of food?  It’s like Jesus feeding the 5000.
  • One woman actually bursted into tears about the opening.
  • J.J. Abrams will have a new series on Fox about Alcatraz and will involved former LOST actor Jorge Garcia (Hurley).  Also, Christian Bale’s show didn’t get renewed, which means that’s three straight first year series to die.  Source
  • If you use a Google Chrome web browser you can play Angry Birds for free.  I played it for the first time yesterday and it took me forever to figure out that if you click on the blue bird in flight he multiplies like gremlins.
  • German News Crew Confuses Star Trek Rebel Logo with Navy SEAL Emblem
  • Sad – Two Deaf Men Stabbed Because Attacker Thought They Were Throwing Gang Signs
  • Even more sad – Study: 420K Congolese women raped each year — 1 every minute
Posted in Personal | 1 Comment

Why does God allow some people to become parents?

A horrific story you can read about here and here, but below are some highlights.

  • Boy locked in a dog cage (with seven locks) or chained to a bed frame.
  • Boy dies and was buried in concrete, but at least the father put a Bible on his chest.
  • The boy’s parents made his older sister feed her brother and take him out to use the bathroom on occasion.  She was also instructed to beat him, if she didn’t, she in turn would be beaten.
  • Beatings were videotaped, and the boy was forced to wear a diaper.
  • The sister’s account once she found her brother unresponsive:

    After she made the harrowing discovery, she scrambled to find the key to the Master Lock that kept her brother trapped. She pulled him out of the cage and put her ear to his chest desperately trying to find a heartbeat.

    “I couldn’t hear anything,” she said.

    Then, she asked for help from her stepsister, who in turn called adults for help.

    As they waited for adults to come home, Christina Choate frantically tried to revive her brother. She pumped his chest and used an electric air pump to try to get him air.

    “I kept thinking, ‘Oh my God, my brother is dead,'” she said.

 

Posted in Touching | 4 Comments