Bag of Randomness for Friday, March 24, 2023

  • MLB is grading batboys and batgirls on speed, and will fire them if they’re too slow
    • New standards will be enforced for bat boys and bat girls, whose ability to quickly retrieve equipment will help efforts to speed up the game, according to the memo. The league will evaluate the performances of bat boys and bat girls and could ask teams to replace them if their performance is considered substandard.
  • A new musical coming out of Dallas about the history of silicone breast implants
    • The story tracks the rise and fall of the silicone gel implant, from its humble beginnings at Baylor University College of Medicine to white-hot status symbol to eventual subject of lawsuits and federal bans and, ultimately, a safer reemergence in the twenty-first century. Our protagonists are based on real-life surgeons Tom Cronin and Frank Gerow, who invented silicone implants in Houston in 1962. Dr. Conan (Brian Hathaway) dreams of his legacy, while Dr. Rousseau (Josh Kumler) cuts a more empathic figure. The first implants went to, true story, a dog named Esmeralda.
  • In deep-red Texas, officials warn GOP plans could doom rural public schools
    • Backed by a surge of campaign spending from far-right Christian megadonors, Republicans in Texas and nationwide are pushing legislation that would siphon money from public education under the banner of “parents’ rights.” These plans, commonly known as vouchers, would give parents the money the state would have spent educating their children in public schools — between $8,000 and $10,000 per child per year in Texas — and allow them to put it toward homeschooling expenses, private school tuition or college savings accounts.
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