My weekend started off on a grim note. I was served papers by my ex’s lawyer. She is taking me to court because she wants the language in our divorce decree amended to be more clear and for me to no longer speak with our children except for the designated thirty minutes the non-possession parent has on Tuesday and Saturday nights. She also claims I’m harassing her because of a few texts I’ve sent asking her to have a conversation on why she chose divorce as the first option despite us never going to counseling. I thought she’d consider it now that the divorce is final and I suggested a third-party of her choice be part of it so she would feel safe and comfortable. It would be great if she would choose just to simply talk about these things instead of going through the legal system. We could solve everything in under an hour, maybe a half an hour, but she continues to run away from her problems. It would be great for me to hear what she felt go wrong and for me to apologize to her for things I should be accountable for, and to understanding her perception of things. But now I have to cough up more money to rehire my attorney. This may also mean I have to step away from blogging again until this case is settled. I’ll let you know if that happens. I sure hope not, blogging has been a return of normalcy for me, even though what I blog about is a bit different. You know, that was extremely hard, me not being able to do things which brought me joy. When she filed for divorce, blogging was taken away from me on advice from my lawyer, since material from this blog was used in court against me. And I missed doing DIY stuff around the house. But doing that stuff would have been pointless if we were just selling it.
Here I was fearing the PTSD from the icy weather we had and it almost being the one-year anniversary of the big freeze when my ex took the kids and left to her mother, and now court stuff, which I thought was all behind me, is back and feeling some PTSD again. Sadly, the ex knows what buttons to push.
My lawyer will sometimes tell me that something is an option, but there’s a financial price that it will cost, and I should do a cost-benefit analysis. I have a feeling my ex’s lawyer never does that and looks for every opportunity to charge her client. But then again, my ex’s wealthy parents are footing her bill. If they want, they can just keep dragging this on and drain me of funds until they get their way.
I need to remember my mantra or the word for 2022 I chose – yield. I have no control over a lot of these issues and just have to let things play out. But man, do I want it all past me.
I do chat with my children everyday just to get an idea on how their day went. Ninety percent of the time, I will message them first and ask them to FaceTime me when they have some free time. The conversations are usually less than five minutes, I just want to hear and see them and see how their day went. Maybe I wouldn’t be this way if she didn’t start things off by alienating them from me. I always make sure when I talk to them it’s not during dinner time, and if they are ever doing anything with their mother, I tell them they our conversation can wait.
My son told me the favorite part of the weekend was when we picked up two sticks from the ground and pretended to light-saber fight (and make sound effects with our mouths) for about 45-minutes as different Star Wars characters. I thought he would have told me it was playing video games with him or playing in the snow.
Over the weekend, my daughter snuck into my bathroom and put a Post-It on my mirror which said, “I love you,” and signed her name. Last night, my son used my bathroom to shower since the other bathroom was occupied. He arranged my toiletries to spell out “I Luv U”. Yup, I snapped photos.