#3 cracked me up the most
Top Ten Things Elvis Would Say If He Were Alive Today
10. “Turn on Regis — I feel like some target practice”
9. “Wow, Canada really does offer great savings on prescription drugs!”
8. “Why do I have to pay $35 to get into my own house?”
7. “From now on I want to be known as E. Diddy”
6. “Tell Cybill Shepherd to get her ass over here. King wants some lovin”
5. “Big Mac, 9-piece McNugget and do you have Whoppers or is that the other guys?”
4. “Doctors don’t know anything — all cholesterol is “good” cholesterol”
3. “John Wayne never would have made a gay cowboy movie”
2. “My daughter married who?”
1. “Sonny! Red! Get me out of this coffin!”
Ten similarities between Elvis and Jesus:
1) Jesus blessed little children. Elvis dated them.
2) They’re both referred to as The King.
3) Neither were actors.
4) Jesus sat on his throne. Elvis died on his.
5) Both are now on a first name basis.
6) Jesus passed out fish and bread. Elvis passed out.
7) Jesus lived in the Promised land. Elvis lived in Graceland.
8) Jesus provided food for thousands. Elvis ate for thousands.
9) Both liked to wear white clothes
10) Both were born in small towns and moved to big cities