Rating Christmas Music

Someone sent me this link and I found it pretty amusing. I’m actually surprised that someone took the time to rank his or her thoughts about Christmas music.

It’s actually a lot to read, so here are some highlights:

  • Carol Of The Bells
    Gosh, I hate this one. That same asinine four-note sequence over and over, and brain-dead lyrics to boot (“ding dong ding dong/that is their song,” indeed).

  • Deck The Halls
    It’s by far the most pagan Christmas carol, and hence is considered okay to market to atheists.

  • Have A Holly Jolly Christmas
    Gosh, what a retarded song. What the heck is a “cup of cheer”? It must have taken the composers all of three minutes to put together this lyric.

  • I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
    What a demented scenario. A little girl spies on her mother making out with a stranger, and her reaction is that it would be a “laugh” if her father could watch, too?

  • Rocking Around The Christmas Tree
    Now, why the heck would you rock around your Christmas tree? What would that even look like? Tripping over wires, dislodging candy canes, breaking bulbs, getting tinsel all over the carpet — it’s a bad idea, I tell you, a bad idea.

  • Silent Night
    There’s something theologically counterintuitive about telling the object of your worship to go to sleep.

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