This kinda reminds me of Conan O’Brien’s skit when he says “In the year 2000 . . .”
- Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
- White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
- Baby conceived naturally – – scientists stumped.
- Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
- Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
- France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
- Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
- George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
- Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
- 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
- Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
- Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a politician with their mouth shut.
- Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
- Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
- Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
- New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
- Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
- Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
- IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
- Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines