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LIVINGSTON – Condemned prisoner Patrick Knight wants to leave them laughing.

Knight acknowledges there’s nothing funny about his likely execution later this month for the fatal shooting of his neighbors, Walter and Mary Werner, almost 16 years ago outside Amarillo. But to help him come up with his final statement, Knight is accepting jokes mailed to him on Texas’ death row or e-mailed to a friend who has a Web site for him. The friend then mails him the jokes.

Knight said the joke he finds the funniest will be his final statement the evening of June 26.

“I’m not trying to disrespect the Werners or anything like that,” he told The Associated Press from death row. “I’m not trying to say I don’t care what’s going on. I’m about to die. I’m not going to sit here and whine and cry and moan and everything like that when I’m facing the punishment I’ve been given.

“I’m not asking for money. I’m not asking for pen pals or anything like that. All I’m asking for is jokes.”

He said he’s already received about 250 wisecracks.

“Lawyer jokes are real popular,” he said. “Some of them are a little on the edge. I’m not going to use any profanity if I can find the one I want, or any vulgar content. It wouldn’t be bad if it was a little bit on the edge. That would be cool.”

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Six weeks ago I mentioned how high my cholesterol numbers were after my yearly physical.  My total cholesterol at that time was 261.  240 and above is considered high, below 200 is desirable.  My doctor wanted to start me on statins, but I wanted to see what I could do with the ‘ol diet and exercise routine.  He said OK and for me to see him in six weeks.

For the next six weeks I’ve been eating more sensibly and included some exercise, resulting in about 12-15 pounds of weight loss.  Who knew the secret to weight loss was diet and exercise and not some fad diet or gimmick? 😉

Yesterday was exactly six weeks and I stopped by the doc’s office to get my cholesterol checked.  This morning, he called and woke me up to tell me the results.

Doc: I called to tell you your cholesterol numbers.  I have some bad news, the numbers are still bad.

Geeding:  Oh, craaaaap.

Doc:  I’m just kidding.  Your numbers are significantly better.  You went from 261 to 196.  I just wanted to call and tell you myself.  No need for statins, just keep up whatever you are doing.

I laugh at you cholesterol.  You are now officially my b. 

Time to celebrate by eating a chicken friend steak, then back to the routine.

One would think that a mulit-millionaire with numerous endorsements wouldn’t have an above-ground swimming pool. 

Rumor has it those building were painted black to help hide the dog fighting that occurred at night.

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