Saturday was the one-year anniversary of my wife abandoning and alienating the kids from me. She’ll never know what it feels like to have your family snatched from you and unsure the next time you’ll hear, much less hug your own children again. BoyGeeding’s birthday is actually Wednesday, but it was celebrated with a handful of his friends at Medieval Times on Saturday. My ex actually allowed me to be part of the experience, provided that I help split the costs. Even though her apartment is on the way to the event, she preferred I drive myself. Upon seeing me she greeted me with a smile and cheerfully asked how was I doing. Well, it was cold, so I simply told her, “Cold.” But my inner monologue added, “But not as cold as your heart and I don’t know why you are taking me to court again when we can simply talk things out and find some middle ground.”
When you arrive at Medieval Times, you have a choice of two entrances, but both take you to an area to take a group picture. What went through my mind was that the photo they snapped of us all together was the first one I was in with my ex in over a year.
As we entered the arena, we both navigated to sit at polar opposite sides of the row we sat in. The birthday boy sat next to his mother and I sat next to my daughter, with BoyGeeding’s friends in the middle. I noticed he was crying and later learned he wanted to sit next to me. I told him I would have been happy to, but I thought he’d rather sit next to his friends. And, I told him, his voice, thoughts, and opinions are valid and matter, so speak up and let us know when you want something we can accommodate. If we don’t know, we can’t help.
This is my fourth or fifth trip to Medieval Times, and I’m alway most impressed with the falcon and falconer.
While I was thankful to not be alienated from my sons’s birthday event like last year, it feels weird trying to parent when your children are not legally under your possession. For instance, if my son or daughter wanted to show me something, I first had to ask their mother’s permission to see if it was okay that I take the kids to a certain area inside the venue.
I had a handful of friends send me encouraging texts regarding the sad anniversary of the date. They have no idea how much that meant to me. I was tempted to text my ex-MIL (and ex-wife) and tell her I will always remember this as the day she helped break apart a family (instead of keeping one together) and alienated a loving father from his children. Man, they love to talk the talk when it comes to the Christian faith, but do little to walk the walk. Don’t get me wrong, I have a plank in my eye. I know that. My heart is heavy and calloused, but I’m still trying to make thigns right.
Both kids whispered in my ear that even though they were having fun, they were thinking about what happened a year ago and were still confused as to why we aren’t a family and why was their mother’s first choice was divorce and not counseling or anything else. Hey, me too. But I tell them no matter what, you continue to love and respect your mother.
The next morning, I was planning to go to church, which was having a big family reunion. Well, I forgot to charge my car from the trip to Medieval Times from the day before, so I had to stream it online. But I needed to charge it so I could pick up my kids. At mediation, the one thing I could get my ex to agree to was that I could have the kids every Super Bowl Sunday starting at noon. I’m really glad this worked out, as I have many warm memories of watching the Super Bowl and bonding with my father. But at the same time, I never thought I would be robbed of spending those special moments with my kids, especially with my son, regarding sporting events. This came to mind recently watching a video the Cincinnati Enquirer tweeted of the moment when the game-winning field goal was made and Bengal fans knew they were going to the Super Bowl. Because of our possession schedule, should the Mavs, Stars, Rangers, or Cowboys, we’re not going to be able to watch the entire series together. My ex would refuse to compromise and find some middle ground, like my son watching the game with me and me returning him to his mother’s.
This was the first Super Bowl in 20 years I watched without the person who was my wife. We were just dating when we watched the first one together. Interestingly enough, the first Super Bowl we spent together as a married couple was when Tampa Bay went to their first. And, the last one we watched together as a married couple was Tampa made their second Super Bowl appearance.
Originally, my ex stated she was going to bring the kids to my rent house, but later contacted me through our court mandated messaging app that I would need to pick them up at her place. It’s funny reading her messages. She never gives me an option or suggests or ask if I would be okay with something. She just bluntly tells me what to do. I pretty much have to accept it, it’s easier than rocking the boat or threatening alienation again.
When I arrived at her apartment and parked, she walked out. I noticed she was wearing something new, and out of politeness, told her I like her new dress. She immediately and coldly corrected me it was a skirt and not a dress. To be honest, the leather skirt looked like cheap vinyl, but I was just trying to extend an olive branch.
As we left her apartment, the kids let me know about the church they visited. DaughterGeeding told me it felt weird listening to the pastor preach about love (Valentine’s Day literally around the corner) and five things spouses should continually do for their significant other to maintain a strong marriage. It included stuff like prioritizing and affirming the other by letting them know how proud you are of them. DaughterGeeding told me she noticed her mother never or rarely did those five things for me when we were married, but I consistently did those things for her. She also wondered what her mother must have been thinking during the sermon. I told her she should always feel open speaking to her mother about anything, and that no matter what, continue to love and respect her and do what she can to understand her perception of things. Internally, I was thinking about how I deserved to be loved and respected. But to me, I just accepted those were weaknesses my wife had, and part of love is accepting those weaknesses and work on being a better communicator. Here I was thinking I was doing a good job of being a direct communicator and, from her perspective, I was being a narcissist. I’ll never understand why she couldn’t tell me I needed to add a little sugar of soften up my message.
If I knew my ex would at least talk to her family about not telling our children and others that I physically hurt her, I probably would be less open about my thoughts.
Tom Brady said the following at his retirement press conference, “And lastly to my wife, Gisele, and my children, Jack, Benny and Vivi. You are my inspiration. Our family is my greatest achievement.” My family was my greatest achievement, and I was so proud. Now, the breakup of my family is my greatest failure, and it’s not something I think I’ll ever let go.
I never thought this record would be broken, and it’s interesting that the top two leading scorers in NBA history were on the Laker’s roster. And, even though I don’t follow the NBA closely, I thought this would have been on my sports radar. – LeBron James passes Kareem Abdul-Jabbar for most total points in NBA history.
Anytime I see the word “radar” I’m taken back to Mrs. Andrews fourth grade glass and her teaching a small group of us what a palindrome was. I also recall one of my friends sitting at the table had a name that was a palindrome, but can’t remember the name of that friend.
I’m encouraged to see a lot of electric vehicle commercials last night. This means they are becoming more mainstream and we should see more EV charging stations.
That halftime show and Dr. Evil GM commercial sure made me feel like I was taken back in time by about 20 years.
One problem with having the Super Bowl on the West Coast is that their is still sunlight for the halftime show. I’ve seen documentaries talking about how that has been an issue for other halftime performances because they needed the darkness for all the lighting special effects.
Posted inPersonal|Comments Off on Bag of Randomness for Monday, February 14, 2022
Tomorrow it will be exactly one year since my wife (now ex-wife) dramatically abandoned and alienate our children from me. It’s a really tough adjustment. Literally, one day I go from trusting this person I prioritized over everything for 17-years with my life and my utmost top secrets and concerns, and the very next day she becomes an enemy. During that phase, I thought there were certain boundaries that would never be crossed out of respect and because this was her very first sign she ever wanted to end our marriage and tear apart our family. But no, she went full throttle and held nothing back. Nothing was out of reach.
When it all started, I handled everything cautiously and gently because I wanted to reconcile and couldn’t fathom her wanting to end things without at least going to one counseling session or trying a separation. I thought the most important thing to both of us was our family. I feared if I was too aggressive with something, I’d risk losing my family forever. If I could go back and do things over again, I would have matched her aggressiveness. I’d reveal things to the judge like her taking my Adderall because she wanted to get more things accomplished during the day. Like Thanos said, I should have gone for the head.
Interestingly enough, my ex planned my son’s birthday party tomorrow. He’s taking a few of his friends to Medieval Times. She contacted me a few weeks ago, asking if I would split the costs. This coming from the same person whose daughter asked if she would buy her a Halloween costume and she answered, “Isn’t that something you should talk to your father about?” This is also the same woman who wouldn’t invite me to our daughter’s birthday party. I’m not sure she understood the awkward position this put me in. If I refused to split the costs (she gets plenty of child support and got a lot more out of the sale of our house than I did, and her mother paid all her legal bills) I’m scared she wouldn’t allow me to attend his party.
In a somewhat shocking move, it seems like the state of Texas has come up with a plan to meaningfully support parents working in the service industry: providing free child care for up to a year for those who qualify. The state’s Service Industry Recovery Child Care program launched in October of last year and promises a stipend that is paid directly to a child care provider of the parent’s choice, so long as that provider is licensed by the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. The program also requires that single parents work at least 25 hours per week — 50 hours per week for a two-parent home — and that the family receiving the benefits earns an income that is at or below 75 percent of the state’s median income.
After hearing that an 11-year-old girl in North Macedonia was bullied at school, the country’s president decided to visit her family and personally escort her to class on February 7.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to buy a house again. My legal bills took the majority money from the sale of the house. I now have child support to pay for the next nine years and home prices are sky high.
It’s interesting speaking to other divorced fathers. We find it peculiar how we are all required to take out life insurance to pay for the remainder of child support until our youngest child graduates high school should something happen to us, but our exes aren’t required to take out any in case something happens to them.
Being a divorced dad makes you feel like a criminal. Having to create a profile on the state’s attorney general’s website and set up child support is humiliating. By court order, we are required to contact the payroll department of our current and future employers so child support can be automatically set up to be taken out on all paychecks. Anytime we move to a new address, we have to inform both the court and our ex by certified mail.
Depending on certain factors, every two years our exes can inquire or request a cost of living adjustment. The method they do this is odd. It’s done by us being served court papers, which seems cruel and invasive and as if we committed a crime.
The system is so skewed, women find more incentives in tearing a family apart instead of keeping it together. And, most of us fathers don’t even get the kids 50% of the time. Most of us are lucky if we get something called expanded-standard visitation, which is basically every Thursday night and every first, third, and the rare fifth weekend. It works out to basically 55-45. I’d like to know why I’m not deserving of that extra five percent. It sucks being a glorified weekend dad.
I’ve always heard that when a divorce happens, the husband will often be shocked at the friends who happen to side with the wife. The number of Pontius Pilates in my life was shocking.
Yesterday, my son asked me who was Adolf Hitler. I gave him the best explanation I could give a soon to be ten-year-old, and withheld any comparison to his mother and grandmother.
TheTruesSize.com lets you drag and drop any state or country and compare it to others.
@dallastexas_tv – Someone decided to paint a thumbs down on the Federal Reserve building in downtown today
Disney today reiterated its commitment to expanding its sports streaming portfolio, with Disney boss Bob Chapek confirming that the company is bidding for the NFL Sunday Ticket. Disney also plans to innovate its product around sports-centric features and its still-vague metaverse plans.
Go Away Green and Blending Blue are two of the most used paint colors at Walt Disney World Resort, but each particular shade is engineered by Disney Imagineers to make your eyes ignore them.
Bob Odenkirk’s Long Road to Serious Success – He was a comedian’s comedian — until “Better Call Saul” revealed him as a peerless portrayer of broken souls. What will he turn himself into next?
Posted inPersonal|Comments Off on Bag of Randomness for Thursday February 10, 2022
A Catholic priest in Phoenix has apologized, asked forgiveness, and resigned as parish pastor after a determination that he had failed to baptize validly over his two decades of priestly service in Brazil, the Diocese of San Diego, and the Diocese of Phoenix.
