Governor Abbot spoke at the kids’ school yesterday evening. Here he is signing the Parental Bill of Rights into law. It looked a bit gimmicky signing a poster-sized version.
Before he talked about the incident that put him in a wheelchair, he stated he doesn’t tell this story often.
The school choir sang for him. He literally said they sounded like angels and it was the best version of that song he ever heard. He said it so sincerely it sounded like he meant it, but I’m sure he’s said the same thing to many other choirs.
He bragged heavily on his banning of mask mandates and critical race theory.
Bill Bennett was a big part of the event, speaking via Zoom. He heavily praised the governor, especially his role in protecting the border.
With a collection of salvaged and homemade equipment, Zeloof produced a chip with 1,200 transistors. He had sliced up wafers of silicon, patterned them with microscopic designs using ultraviolet light, and dunked them in acid by hand, documenting the process on YouTube and his blog. “Maybe it’s overconfidence, but I have a mentality that another human figured it out, so I can too, even if maybe it takes me longer,” he says. Zeloof’s chip was his second. He made the first, much smaller one as a high school senior in 2018; he started making individual transistors a year before that.
AT&T’s and Verizon’s C-Band frequencies primarily range from 3.7 to 3.98 GHz; airlines are concerned these mid-band waves may impact the radio altimeters that pilots use to know how far planes are from the ground. A recent statement from United Airlines says that, “when deployed next to runways, the 5G signals could interfere with the key safety equipment that pilots rely on to take off and land in inclement weather.”
DaughterGeeding tested COVID positive yesterday. She’s been fully vaxed and her symptoms have been light. Her mother tested negative, has never been vaxed, currently not experiencing any symptoms, and I’m assuming staying in her apartment with our daughter. BoyGeeding tested negative and has no symptoms. His visitation starts tonight, but we moved it back a day to keep him away from his infected sister. Thankfully, BoyGeeding is also fully vaxed.
Okay, where did I leave off. My wife of 17-years called, who I haven’t directly communicated with for like ten days, called and told me she was divorcing me, even though we’ve never been to a single counseling session, talked to our pastor, or even tried a separation. No reason was given. She then said any other means of communication from me would have to go to her lawyer. Through our lawyers, I was able to negotiate a single evening with our children and agree to some of her absurd demands. My kids missed being with their father so much, they asked if we all could sleep together on the big bed.
Several nights after she initially abandoned me, a friend suggested I seek counsel from a lawyer and suggested one. It was a female attorney, which I thought was a good thing. However, I will later talk about the importance of having someone of your sex be part of the divorce process because they can provide insight and understanding the other sex simply cannot.
My lawyer listened to my case and thought it was odd for my wife to make such a drastic move. Especially since a lot of the house has been remodeled in the last six-months and the fireplace itself was demolished to make way for an upgraded one she always wanted. Also, we just remodeled the kids’ bathroom I finished the day before she left with the kids. They haven’t even had a chance to use it one single time. We just put new carpet in DaughterGeeding’s room and were looking for new furniture for her.
She strongly suggested I file for divorce first as it would put me in a position to better get possession of the kids. But I just couldn’t do it. I don’t believe in making a divorce an option, it goes against our faith. I made a covenant with God and promised him and her I would stay married and love her until the day I die. I also thought there could be a chance of reconciliation, still perplexed that the nuclear option was her very first choice. If I filed for divorce, then I wouldn’t be doing all I can to keep my family together. But man, if I could go back in time and give myself some advice, it would be battle up and leave no prisoners because she and her mother was coming at me with all they got.
My wife filed for divorce first. She had her lawyer do it on a Sunday night. She wanted to send a message that she couldn’t even wait until the offices opened Monday Morning. My lawyer was kind enough to accept the divorce papers on my behalf, that would have really tore me up.
In Texas, our version of “irreconcilable differences” is “incompatibility”, and that’s what my wife listed as the reason for divorce. She went for the whole kitten caboodle – full custody, max child support, for me to pay both her and my legal fees and court costs, and a whole lot more. At this point I couldn’t believe the ugliness. I was wondering why is she making this so nasty so soon, can we not end our relationship and do something amicable or respectable. Now I had a custodial trial to prepare for. The first time her lawyer contacted my lawyer, she left a voicemail saying my wife is her new client and she intend to “stay in Lindale, TX indefinitely.” I was determined to do all in my power to keep that from happening, my kids loved their school.
We were going to include that voicemail as evidence. Judges don’t like the idea of children being forcibly taken away from their homes and schools, they don’t want to disrupt any child’s life more than they have to. But, for reasons I still don’t quite understand, the judge wasn’t going to allow it.
My lawyer had to ask me if there was any physical abuse or anything she could claim as physical abuse. Or, is there anything I thought she might use against me. I stated we got kinky, probably more so than the average couple, but it was always consensual. My lawyer told me not to be surprised if photos of her with bruises show up in court.
I told her when I found out my wife’s first act of infidelity about five years ago, with whom, and how she admitted she deceive me by deleting backup photos from our cloud storage. In anger, when she was in another room, entered our bedroom and took down our wedding invitation and a picture she had framed. I tried to break the frame with a blunt object, but the glass was so strong I had to grab a hammer from the garage. My intent was to leave her the message that she was breaking apart our marriage with her actions, just as I had to leave to go to a wedding rehearsal. But no one was in the room when it happened.
We spoke about this event several times over our marriage. Her response was that I was acting immature by breaking it. I told her she was immature for gloating about dating a D-List celebrity and putting photos of them together 20-years apart on Facebook just to get a bunch of likes. I asked that she take time to look at what I did not as an act of immaturity, but to get her attention. What I didn’t want her to take away from all this me acting immature, I wanter her to understand how profoundly hurt and disappointed I was as this act and the more I found out all about it started to validate all my fears and suspicions. Especially before she left for the event, when I told her that I shouldn’t be concerned about anything because I know that she’ll never do anything to hurt or embarrass me. So, I basically told her what not to do and then a few hours later she specifically did that thing.
I told her about a day in late November when I suspected something with WifeGeeding. I was in my office on the computer and she stopped by. I asked her if I were to search her Facebook, would I find anything to be concerned about. She said no, not at all. I took her at her word until the next morning when I decided to check.
I tried to have a marriage that was transparent. We had joint accounts for everything and knew each other’s user names and passwords to everything. I don’t have a Facebook account, but she allowed me to use hers to look up a few old classmates and college friends. My search history was never hidden or erased, it was important for me to be transparent.
It didn’t take long before I found out that a handful of years ago, she reached out to the last man which she had her first sexual experience with. I thought, there she goes again, she can’t let go of college. I was profoundly hurt and upset, and it made me question a lie or twist of words she told me not too long ago.
She used to text me often throughout the school day, which surprised me, so I never felt texting her would be an intrusion. So, I sent her a text and screen print and used some very terse language. The thing with her is, her first response whenever she’s busted or caught is to never apologize, but to try to rationalize what she did was okay. Even though when I asked her about it later, if she felt what she did was wrong, she said not at first, but three days later she had thoughts it wasn’t the right thing to do and didn’t reach out to him.
When she and the kids came home, I surprised her with flowers and the playing of our favorite Christmas song and popped out from underneath our new kitchen island. I told her she may be confused, but what I wanted her to know is that no matter how mad or hurt I may be by something she did, she’s the love and priority of my life. We need to talk through some things, but I made a promise to God to love you and stay committed. But, we got to talk about priorities, again.
That evening when the kids went to bed, we talked in the bedroom and later argued. When I get upset, I yell. But I tell her, that when I raise my voice, I always do so from at least six feet away so she knows she’s not in any physical danger.
As she sat at the head of the bed, I noticed the framed wedding invitation and photo that I broke about five years prior in an act of symbolism (of our marriage cracking apart) when she just couldn’t let go and show off another former college boyfriend. All that was missing was the glass. I’ve tried speaking softly to her about these things before, and I’ve yelled during these arguments other times, but I wanted to do something to let her know how bothered I was by this. So, I took the framed invitation and picture off the wall and smashed it a few times over the foot of our bed, telling her she’s literally breaking apart our marriage. Since she was at the other end of the bed and the frame was missing glass, I knew she wouldn’t be physically harmed by any debris considering where I smashed it. If I felt any piece would have hit her or if she was going to be physically hurt (which she wasn’t), I wouldn’t have done it.
I think I had that emotional breakdown I wrote about the very next night.
After the discovery of her reaching out to this guy, her non-apology and rationalizing, not agreeing that her actions didn’t honor her husband, other past infidelity-related actions, and us not being able to resolve it before going to bed, I was a wreck the next day. I wanted her to come home and talk. And here’s what I regret doing the most in my life. It was wrong and a selfish plea, but I wanted to get her attention and see if she would make me a priority and get her home so we could work/save our marriage. So, using one of those apps in which every message is erased after it’s viewed (we used the app to spice things up). It took her a while to respond and she was slow to come home, but she did. We talked for about 20-minutes until she said, “I know this is not appropriate at this time. But all of this and the kids not being home is making me very horny and I want to take care of that now.”
We spoke about my poor choice and how she felt about it two other times, and I thought we got past it. My lawyer didn’t seemed all that concerned because after I did that, she stayed home for another two-and-a-half months before leaving. During that time, she never feared for her or your children’s safety, even leaving you alone with the kids. If she was really bothered she would have left or found me some help sooner. It doesn’t make sense for her to stick around for two-and-a-half months and did nothing if she really thought you were a danger.
In an argument two or three months back, I threw our television remote. It wasn’t in her direction and I meant for it to go down the hall, but it hit our pantry door and made a small hole. I felt like a heal, and later that night apologized.
My lawyer also asked if I ever had a reason not to trust Kelsey before she the kids out of school at 11:00 AM and drove them 110 miles to her mother’s house and keeping them from communicating from their father.
I told her there’s a part in the Bible in which we are told simply to let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ And when it came to Kelsey, a yes or no was never a simply yes or no. And then I gave her a for instance.
When I took her to Disneyland for her 40th birthday, we turned on the GoogleMaps feature which lets you track each other, thinking it could come in handy when we get separated. Well, one evening, she’s late getting home from a deacon meeting at church, it’s getting close to 10 PM. Instead of calling or sending a text which could disrupt the meeting, I opened GoogleMaps to see where she was. I saw she was driving home and wasn’t far away, so I thought I’d just watch her drive all the way home. However, she oddly pulled into a subdivision in our neighborhood, a place in which we don’t know anyone or every frequented. And she parked in front of a house for five to ten minutes. This concerned me, so when she arrived home, I asked her how the meeting went. She answered, saying it went fine. Then I ask if she came straight home, and her answer was, “Yes.” That’s it, that’s all she said. Knowing this was not true, I asked if she was sure, and she assuringly said, “Yeah,” while nodding her head. I said okay, and we went to bed.
But it bothered me. The next day I spoke to her about it before we went to bed. I told her how I was able to track her by GoogleMaps and why I did, and I knew she didn’t come straight home. She then told me that her sister called when she was driving home, and she wanted to finish that conversation before coming home. She wanted some privacy, and knew when she arrived home the dogs would bark like crazy and wake the kids. This is common for her to do, not to answer my direct question but provide an answer to a possible related question I haven’t asked. I then ask her why did she say “yes” when I asked if she came straight home. She said she did come straight home. I told her she did not, she pulled over and parked for five to ten minutes in a subdivision we aren’t familiar with. She stressed because she never got out of the car and the engine was never turned off, that means she came straight home. I tried to explain how that is false logic, by saying if she stopped and went through the Whataburger drive through, that even though she never got out of the car or stopped the engine, that still means she would stopped somewhere and didn’t come straight home.
It was this untruth which led me to ask her if I searched through her Facebook, would I find anything questionable. I did, and then some. That was part of my breakdown I wrote about. That was when all my fears and insecurities I had about our relationship came true.
I also asked why didn’t she just drive to our neighborhood, a place she knows well and 30 seconds away from where she pulled over, and then park and talk to her sister. She had the option of parking in the HOA clubhouse parking lot or near the alley we take to get to our rear-entry garage. She said she didn’t think of that. Because she coudn’t simply answer that she didn’t come straight home, I wasn’t sure how to accept this answer. But one thing was for sure, the trust I had in her was already erroding, and now it was gone and I had no idea how she was going to be able to earn it back.
Posted inPersonal|Comments Off on Bag of Randomness for Thursday, January 20, 2022
I’m going to take a step away from blogging about my divorce and lighten things up a bit.
Yesterday was DaughterGeeding’s first softball practice. I spoke with the coach and I may help with some of the upcoming practices.
Random memory – aluminum cans in which you had to pull the tab all the way off.
Considering how bad the launch of the Affordable Healthcare Act’s website was, I was expecting to hear bad news about yesterday’s launch of the government’s free COVID test website. So far, so good, I suppose.
The Edge, 60, explained that the Irish rockers started playing music under the name The Hype, but they were “unhappy” with that name due to its unoriginality and turned to former classmate and fellow musician Steve Averill for help. “He came to us with a few suggestions, one of which was U2,” he recalled. “And of the suggestions, it wasn’t that it jumped out to us as the name we were really looking for, but it was the one that we hated the least. And what we loved about it was that it was not obvious from the name what this band wound sound like or be about.”
I think of my ex as Luke does Darth Vader. I believe she still has good in her, but she does everything she can to prove me wrong. Here’s the latest:
Our daughter recently told me when she was at her grandparents’ house for the holidays, her aunt (my ex’s sister) told her and her brother I physically assaulted my wife. That is 100% not true and was never brought up in any of our divorce proceedings or paperwork. I contacted my ex using the communication application the court requires us to contact each other regarding issues relating to our children. I told her what our daughter told me and asked if she has told anyone that I have physically hurt her, would she make sure her family no longer degrades me directly to our children, and to that either she or her sister needs to speak to our children about the miscommunication and ensure them their father isn’t a wife beater.
The app tells me when she read it, but it took her a long time to reply. That’s because even though the divorce is past us and she’s a 43-year-old woman, she has to run everything by her mother and lawyer first. Her reply was a very short sentence, “I have never told anyone that you physically harmed me.” I reply thanking her for her answer, but stated her answer didn’t address why her sister told our children I physically assaulted her and to please answer my two remaining questions, would she speak to her family to make sure they no longer degrade me to or in front of our children, and if she or her sister would speak to our children about the “miscommunication” to ensure them their father isn’t a wife beater, stressing that I think it’s in the children’s best interest to know their father does not hurt women. She never responded.
The next time I see her, I tell her that the divorce decree states I can have a “meaningful conference” regarding an issue relating to our children, and her refusal to reply to my now two follow-up emails is not granting me what she legally signed she would do. She told me that she did answer by two other questions with her little reply, “I have never told anyone that you physically harmed me.” I then tried to politely explain to her that stating she has never told anyone I hurt her doesn’t tell me if she will ensure her family not speak ill of their father and if she or her sister would talk to the kids about the “miscommunication” so they will know their father isn’t a wife beater. She refuses to speak to her family about it and ended the conversation as she and our daughter were late for a counseling appointment (they ain’t getting along at all since the divorce).
She has extreme difficulty talking to her family about anything that could be construed as negative. She always prioritized her status with them and her feelings above me and our marriage. Here’s a perfect example. When she was pregnant with our son, we decided to name his Walter to carry on that name on my side of the family. That name has been used either as a first or middle name for about five generations. However, her brother and brother-in-law once saw a commercial when they were young in which that name was used. When they greet each other, they call each other “Walt” in a playful way. My concern was that if they continued to do this around our son, because they’ve been doing it forever and there was no signs of it stopping, and as he grows up around them, our boy may think his name was being made fun of. Our son is going to get the opportunity to actually meet her mother and father, and he will never be able to speak to my mother and father since they have long been deceased. I wanted to honor my father’s legacy and the importance of that name to my family, and that when we speak about family, our children understand that family doesn’t just mean her side. I asked if she could simply call her brother and brother-in-law, and ask them when our son is around, not to do the joke. She couldn’t do it. I told her I could, but it would be better for her to do it since it’s her family and she knows them better. She just couldn’t do it, and cried excessively. I’m sure part of that was pregnancy hormones, but for her to refuse to do a little thing like that was reminded me how she prioritized her family over me.
I followed up with her on the phone on Sunday after she called about another concern. Her first question was if we could put a time-limit on topic. Again, she told me that one sentence answers all my questions and I again try to explain how it does. It’s like saying 2+2=Blue, that her reply is an answer and may have answered one particular question, but it doesn’t address her asking her family not to speak ill of our children’s father in front of them and if she or her sister would looking into the “miscommunication” and ensure the kids their father does not hit women. Her answer, “The divorce decree doesn’t require me to do that.” I told her that the divorce decree doesn’t tell us every single thing we are required to do, and that this was just a request, because I believe it’s in our children’s best interest for their father not to be spoken ill of by her family and to know he doesn’t hurt women. I didn’t know how to explain to her that it’s just the moral thing to do, and I do what I can to have our children continue to love and respect her. She wouldn’t budge and suggestion I contact her sister myself. I’d rather not speak to the people who kept our children from having any contact with their father.
When I say my children not having any contact with me, remember when my wife pulled the kids out of school before lunch and arrived at her childhood home in East Texas the day before the big freeze, her mother sent me a text that I could only contact my wife via text through her, and if I show up on their property, they would call the police. Four nights have passed without me hearing from my wife or son or daughter. Then I get another text which tells me I can have a monitored five-minute conversation with my son on his ninth birthday, and if the call goes well, I may be able to speak to them again later that night. I was so scared and eager to speak to my kids. I missed them so much and that are literally my only family. Not wanting to mess anything up with the call, so I can get an additional call that evening, I actually wrote a script of things to ask and tell them. When the call happened, I was only expecting to speak to my son, but surprisingly, my daughter chimed in and wanted to talk to her dad. I tried speaking to her but wanted to talk to the birthday boy, and he rambled and the call went ten seconds after five minutes. After the call ended, I immediately text my mother-in-law and apologize it went over but I didn’t want to abruptly cut off my son from speaking to his dad for the first time in four nights and was pleasantly surprised my daughter got in on the call. I told her I hoped those ten seconds won’t hurt my chances of speaking to my son and daughter later that evening. She never replied, and I didn’t get to speak to them again until we exchanged the kids at a gas station.
Two months earlier, for Christmas, our children received new iPads for each of them. When my wife left me on Feb 12, her mother bought our children two new iPads and created new accounts and passwords for them as another way to withhold me from contacting them, even by iMessage.
The only reason I got to spend time with the kids after another four straight nights of zero contact was because I hired a lawyer. So now we were communicating through our attorneys.
She had three requirements if I wanted the kids to have an overnight stay with me. First, my wife’s sister would do the exchange at the Buccee’s in East Texas. Remember, my wife took my gas-powered SUV and left me with the electric car with a range of only about 72 miles. She required this, knowing I don’t have a vehicle that can make it there and back without charging somewhere for three hours. The second requirement was that an adult be there to supervise my time with our own children. So the day before she left me, she felt it was okay for them to stay alone with me when I picked them up from school, but now an adult needs to be present despite me never harming them or her? Thankfully, my friend Jimi volunteered to drive me there to pick them up, stay an additional night with me, and then drive all of us back.
She had all the leverage, she had the kids. As silly as I thought and as much as I hated it, I had to cater to them just so I can spend time with my children.
The children had no idea they were going to see me during their hour long drive from their grandparents’ house.
I hope none of you will ever know what it feels like to be separated from your kids and then cry into each other’s hug when you all reunited from being forcibly separated.
When we arrived at Buccee’s, we texted we were in the same parking area my wife and I exchanged the children with her sister the previous weekend. They would only do the exchange inside the store because they wanted video cameras and people around in case I cause a scene. That was insane of them. So, we had to lug a child’s car seat inside the store when I picked them up and dropped them off.
All of this just seemed too extreme considering we’ve been married for 17-years, never had a single counseling session together and this was her first move, and there’s been no physical abuse by or on anyone. Sure, divorce me, but let’s not be so nasty and costly about it. No need to use the children like this. She’s scared them for life, and she has no idea the trust she’s lost from them.
Even though our children haven’t seen their father or been back in their own home for over a week, that evening my wife texts me wanting to get the username and passwords to some of our online financial account. After her separating me from our children, I didn’t want to take any time out of this visitation and give it to her.
More to come.
Posted inPersonal|Comments Off on Bag of Randomness for Tuesday, January 18, 2022
