Woman beats grandson for eating too much bacon

CLIFTON HEIGHTS, Pa. – If the cholesterol doesn’t get you, your grandmother might.

A southeastern Pennsylvania woman, 63-year-old Marilee Ann Kolynych, is accused of beating her 9-year-old grandson and blasting him in the face with a garden hose, because he ate too much bacon at the breakfast table.

The Delaware County Daily Times reports that Kolynych was arrested Tuesday.

Clifton Heights police say Kolynych was angry at her grandson because she believed he ate too much bacon that morning and didn’t leave enough for everyone else.

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Presidential Seal Blew Off Limo

Seems the big guy lost a magnetic presidential seal that was affixed to the side of his limousine as he wrapped up a fundraising visit to Philly on Thursday.

The seal flew off the side of the limo and whipped by motorists in the eastbound lanes of Interstate 76, where it was presumed lost.

Don’t worry, no tax payer dollars had to be spent to buy a new one.

That’s when a veteran Philadelphia police officer found the seal on the side of the highway, near the Montgomery Avenue exit, while he was assisting the driver of a disabled vehicle, said Cynthia Wofford, the special agent in charge of the U.S. Secret Service Philadelphia field office.

“The officer was a part of the presidential motorcade the night before,” Wofford said. “It was turned over, so it wasn’t so obvious, but he found it for us.”

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You Are More Likely to Survive a Plane Crash than Click a Banner Ad

How annoying are banner ads? You know, those ubiquitous advertisements that drop down in your face when you open most news sites? The worst are the ones that expand when you scroll over them, forcing you to click on them no matter how hard to try to avoid it. If you hate banner ads as much as we do, you are not alone: most people do not click on them. Solve Media, an advertising consulting company, has discovered how much more likely you are to do even the most statistically unlikely of things than click on one of these intrusive advertisements, Business Insider reports.

For example, “you are 31.25 times more likely to win a prize in the Mega Millions than you are to click on a banner ad.”

Not only that, “you are 87.8 times more likely to apply to Harvard and get in…

112.50 times more likely to sign up for and complete NAVY SEAL training…

279.64 times more likely to climb Mount Everest…

and 475.28 times more likely to survive a plane crash than you are to click on a banner ad.

” It’s unclear how they figured this out, or if the methodology is all that sound, but we’re going to hazard a guess that people hate banner ads enough to enjoy the numbers anyway.

The Atlantic Wire

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