An ICE prosecutor in Dallas ran a white supremacist account on X (formerly Twitter). I’d like to say I’m surprised, but I’ve seen Texas politics lately.

Opened a new jar of peanut butter yesterday, and that untouched, smooth surface is the closest thing to perfection I’ve seen in a while. And yes, I promptly destroyed it with a spoon.

There’s a venomous snake from Ecuador that showed up in a box of bananas at a New Hampshire grocery store. Imagine reaching for a potassium boost and getting a quick trip to the ER instead.

I find it amusing that when my car’s GPS says, “You’ve arrived,” I don’t feel any more accomplished than I did a minute ago.

There’s a new interim president at UT Austin. He was a deputy attorney general in Paxton’s office before joining the UT system and will be the first acting president since the 1800s without a teaching background.

I read that sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins. This sounds like a fact I will never need, yet here I am, telling you anyway.

In a plot twist nobody asked for, orange alligators are showing up in South Carolina. Maybe this is how orange Gatoraide is made. If this is nature’s way of telling us we’re in the end times, I’m ready.

Calvin Coolidge had a pet raccoon named Rebecca that he saved from being served at Thanksgiving dinner. He even built her a little house on the White House grounds. The 1920s were wild. Source

I walked into a room and completely forgot why I was there.

I’m not saying I’m old, but I do remember when the phone was attached to the wall, and you had to remember people’s phone numbers. And, I remember the awkwardness of calling a girl, only for her parents to answer, and then sounding as gentlemanly as I could to speak with his or her daughter.

The Dallas Mavericks are still the Mavericks. At least we’re consistent in keeping our therapists employed.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t use their turn signal. It’s like they thrive in chaos.

Why do we call it “babysitting” when, nine times out of ten, the baby is not sitting?

I miss the days when my biggest worry was whether or not I could tape over a commercial on a VHS recording.