Bag of Randomness for Friday, April 21, 2023

  • I was feeling so good regarding lack of pain and range of motion; I was feeling up to taking BoyGeeding to his soccer game the following morning after surgery. BoyGeeding forgot to pack something, I think his jersey, so I let *XWifeGeeding know we’d be coming over to her casa before the game to pick it up. While she didn’t show any signs of being upset, one could tell that she wasn’t exactly happy or comfortable with me driving. Trust me, if I thought there was any danger of putting my son in harm’s way, I wouldn’t. She even volunteered to drive both of us to and from the game. For a brief second, I was going to take her up on the offer. Then, not only did I think of the awkwardness of it all, but recalled how the last time BoyGeeding and I took his belongings out of her SUV, I placed a book I gifted her in the driver’s seat, and how she called the police on me. I didn’t want to put myself in a vulnerable position, so I politely declined her request.
  • To my surprise, when XWifeGeeding found me at the game, she set her folding chair next to me, and we watched the entire game together. I’m scared to let my guard down around her. To me, there’s no telling what she might take as offensive and call the cops on me for. However, to my surprise, at the end of the game when I got up to fold my folding chair (which rocks) to put it back in its carrying sleeve, she actually did that for me knowing the difficulty I have when bending or stooping the day after surgery. I made sure to thank her.
  • The next time I saw XWifeGeeding was that following Monday at DaughterGeeding’s softball game, which was a 30-minute drive. Again, I think she was surprised that I made the trip with our son. But the thing is, it doesn’t matter the pain or inconvenience (like having to rent a car), I want to be an active father and involved in our children’s lives.
  • We all walked to the game together, but I set my chair in an area near the stands but behind three rows of people. It was great because when I wanted to stand, I could do so and lean forward on the bleachers for support. XWifeGeeding, with her dog, sat at the scorer’s table directly behind home plate. Unfortunately, the umps were a half-hour late, so the game didn’t start on time, which made me even more uncomfortable. Sometimes I’d bury my head in my hat in between innings, not to mention, the sun was blaring directly at us. The ex noticed my discomfort and was actually kind enough to invite me to sit next to her at the scorer’s table. Since the game wasn’t even half-way over and not wanting to be in any more pain or discomfort, I accepted.
  • Little by little, the ex and I engaged in a lot of small talk. We even made up a cheer for our daughter and were trying to embarrass her. “M-I-C-A-H, Micah Geeding to first base!“
  • It has been killing me that XWifeGeeding has never talked to me about the divorce. I so wanted to bring it up when I had a chance, but didn’t want to waste any of the goodwill we’ve made. However, I did have that one parenting question I wanted to ask. So, when I felt the moment was right, I told her I had a parenting question, and by answering it, it would give me a better understanding of her parenting philosophy. I wanted to know why our children were not deserving to have both parents in their lives equally?
  • Her answer didn’t surprise me, but one reason why I wanted to ask her that was I wanted her to see through a different perspective. She basically said that it’s not because the children aren’t deserving, but she didn’t want them of having to go through the stress of switching so often. I let her know that I felt it signaled to them one parent was more important than the other, that we should be communicating to them that both parents are just as important and valuable as the other. Besides, it’s what the kids want, anyway.
  • How did DaughterGeeding do? She had one of her best games. She got on base every time, though she didn’t get a hit. And even though she had one fielding error, she saw a lot of action at second base. Not bad for a seventh-grader playing against high schoolers.
  • The evening ended on a bright note. After the game, XWifeGeeding asked if all four of us could take a picture together.
  • As for any of you who think reconciliation is in the works, she’s been dating a guy for a while now. I continue to tell myself that I deserve someone who treats and values me better than her. But there’s actually hope for a healthy co-parenting relationship.
  • *A lot of y’all may have been wondering why I haven’t used that name or a variation of ExWifeGeeding. I don’t have an answer for ya. I guess the best answer is it felt too soon. That term was one of affection and I didn’t want to show any.

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