Bag of Randomness for Thursday, July 21, 2022

  • This line Milhouse said to Bart kept getting funnier the more I thought about it, “Trust me, Bart. It’s better to walk in on both parents instead of one of them.”
  • I really want to write about this new girl I’m smitten with, but fear I’m going to jinx it. She did answer the following question correctly: “Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark decide to play a game chess, using a Star Wars special edition chess set. Tony lets Bruce pick the colors. Does Bruce choose the dark side or the light side?”
  • I’ll just say one other thing about her, she can out-blog me. Seriously, she used to get paid to blog, she was a professional blogger. And her ex went to Baylor.
  • After a Texas school shooting, conservatives blamed ‘woke’ programs once approved by Republicans
  • For therapeutic reasons, here’s a list of thing I wish my ex would have had the courage to say before she kidnapped our kids and darted off to her mother’s house:
    • Keith, our marriage is on the verge of breaking.
    • No, I don’t want to renew our vows because …”
    • We should start sleeping apart.
    • I know the rifle thing happened three months ago but I still have questions about it.
    • You told me if we saw a marriage counselor, he or she would just say exactly what you’ve been telling me. Well, let’s see if you’re right, let’s go see one.
    • I know you said you’re only joking, but what you say actually hurts me.
    • Raise your voice at me one more time and I’m divorcing you.
    • I’ve been unhappy for years and have been hiding it.
    • I don’t think I should be the one to tell my sister she was wrong about not texting ahead of time that she would be running late with the kids because she’s feeding them.
    • I’m sorry you feel that way, but this is how I feel about it and this is what I’m going to do.
    • No, it can’t wait until tomorrow.
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