- My ex and I had trouble finding common ground yesterday, but I found a silver lining. I will often ask her yes/no binary type of questions in an effort to find something we agree on and be able to build from there. Yesterday, she stated for years when I do that; she felt like I was controlling her. That I was getting her to agree to something she wasn’t comfortable with. It was good to hear that feedback, I just wish she would have been up front and shared that years ago. I let her know it was never my intention for that to be a controlling technique, but I don’t think she believed me. But, at least I know it’s something that bothers her and I can go about trying to find common ground another way.
- Most of the time, when I ask those binary yes/no questions, she will stay quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time and then provide an answer that doesn’t answer the question. She tried to explain she was answering the question, just not how I wanted it to answer. I explained to her that’s like saying 2+2=Blue. “Blue” is an answer, but it’s an inappropriate answer to that particular question.
- I ended that call with one of those binary yes/no questions. I told her I was tired of the fighting and want to have a good friendly co-parenting relationship and mentioned some concessions I was willing to make. With that in mind, I asked her if she would be willing to be nicer to me and I would do the same. That’s all I asked. Her answer was nothing but silence.
- I gave my ex some advice her mother gave me. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Instead of coming at me with all guns blazing, just ask me nicely and I’ll be accommodating as long as I know I’m not being taken advantage of.
- One of my loyal readers is a friend of her family and he always shares information with me. I was told my ex’s sister reads this blog and will tell my ex the “lies” I write about. That hurts. I’ve never lied about anything regarding our failed marriage and relationship. Not one single time. Nor have I exaggerated anything. This is the sister who told my son and daughter that I physically hurt my ex, which is totally false. I continue to be disappointed in both my ex and her sister for not taking the time to clear up “the miscommunication.” All I asked was for them to speak to our children and make sure they understand their father wasn’t a wife-beater. When I asked, the answer I got was, “I’m not required to do that.”
- It also hurts our children are being told by my ex and her family not to trust me and that I’m a manipulator. I told my ex at the start of this that I will always do my best to have the children to continue to love and respect her.
- My ex’s siblings never accepted or liked me. That was clear when one of them texted a picture of a candle with the label. “We didn’t like him anyway.” I always suspected it, but now I know that’s true. I worked hard just to be liked by them. For instance, when my ex became a deacon at the church, I sent all of them a text with a photo of the ordination explaining how proud I was of their sister. Not a one of them replied. That is not a lie, that is truth.
- I always explained my relationship with my ex’s siblings like this. If we were in high school, we wouldn’t eat at the same lunch table, but we’d still say hi to each other in the hall and would be okay working on group projects together. I felt they were good people at the core, it’s just we didn’t have the right chemistry. I wish them well and hope they and my children will enjoy their outing to Universal.
- It saddens me that my ex will copy and paste messages I send to her through our court appointed app into emails and forward them to her mother and sister to rip me apart. Heck, they wish I would be put in jail (they should wish for my death, at least there’s a death payout. It would be great if they stopped doing that kind of stuff. I’m still the father of their sister’s children and not the monster they make me out to be. The failed marriage didn’t happen solely because of me, she admitted emotional infidelity. I don’t have a relationship with them anymore, just wear your green and gold and leave me alone. Keeping our children away from me was cruel enough. What else do they want to happen to me? Last year, I lost my wife, family and house, had an unwelcome job change, paid over $40,000 in legal fees, and had a major health scare. Stop kicking a man when he’s down who is trying to rebuild his life, make thing right with his ex, and be there for his children. I’ve apologized, asked for forgiveness, and repented. Sure, I understand they want to defend their relative, but the divorce is over. Be nice. Everybody be nice. My intention is to heal any wound I may have caused to my ex, directly explain myself, defend my parental rights, learn from and let go of the past, and try to build a healthy and friendly co-parenting relationship. But because my ex has told others I was an emotional abuser, never went to a single counseling session and made divorce the very first option, and her sister telling our children (and who knows who else) that I physically hurt my ex, I’m going to use my one and only platform to tell the truth (and vent a little). Also, a lot of my readers have expressed appreciation for my honesty and transparency and that it helps them grow. They appreciate I don’t hide my flaws and shortcomings. I still have a lot more to tell. Maybe my story will help another person going through unfortunate circumstances. I wish I could adequately express how much I appreciate other fathers who have gone through something similar share their story.
- I hear my ex is exploring other schools for our children to attend, like a STEM academy or school. Unfortunately, I have no control of that, but I know for sure it will break our children’s heart to leave their current school. They’ve been through enough change with the divorce and loss of the house.
- I wish I could handle things as gracefully and eloquently like the current press secretary. But, I am a work in progress, perhaps I’ll get there.
WH Press Sec. Jen Psaki on Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) calling her “Peppermint Patty” at CPAC:
“I like Peppermint Patty, so I’m not gonna take it too offensively … I’m a little tougher than that.” pic.twitter.com/dOoHnFRAcY
— The Recount (@therecount) February 24, 2022