If Ann Coulter wrote about Star Wars

“The liberals hate Darth Vader just for being a strong leader and trying to preserve traditional values in the Empire. At least in the Empire, they supported their troops, which is more than you can say about Cindy Sheehan and the blue staters. But no, these Blame The Empire First liberals would rather cheer known smuggler Han Solo (how do we know he doesn’t smuggle drugs in the Millennium Falcon? Or worse, steroids? I mean, look at all the hair on Chewbacca’s back) and that twisted pervert Luke who tries to kill his father and wants to sleep with his sister, and the so-called Rebel Alliance, which is nothing more than a bunch of terrorists with good PR. Their idea of a dream world is the ice planet Hoth, where there is never a threat of global warming. And why do the liberals bash the Death Star so much? At least it put people to work instead of having them stand around waiting for a welfare check. Repeat after me: Death Stars don’t kill people, people kill people. Not that the residents of Alderaan were necessarily people in the sense they possessed the same DNA and precious stem cells as us. But how do we know they wouldn’t have destroyed Tatooine if Darth hadn’t launched his preemptive attack?” 


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