For some reason, I just couldn’t fall asleep the night before my Aunt Bonnie’s funeral. Since I don’t get to drive often, I relish road trips. Her daughter, my Cousin Amy, did a great job pulling things off and honoring her mom. It was small, but there were more folks than I expected. I totally underestimated Bonnie’s affection for her hometown and how important it was for her to be brought back to what she considered home. Since Amy’s father died when she was just ten months old in 1978, Bonnie remarried in 1997, mainly living in California and Arizona, I never thought she’d want to be buried in Mineral Wells. It made me appreciate my hometown even more.
I didn’t plan on speaking, but since it was offered, I wanted to honor her and let her, Amy, and Dan (Bonnie’s husband) know what she and they meant to me. I opened by saying the first thing Bonnie heard after she died was “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I made sure to emphasize how she always put others first, and how she nobly cared for her mother and Amy’s dad as they both died from cancer. I remember Bonnie telling me how she would have to feed her mom through a feeding tube and had a hospital bed put in her house. She revealed a side of my father and our family I didn’t know existed, and I recognized that, on a limited budget, she was saving money to come back to town so that Amy could see her grandparents on her father’s side. I wanted to make sure that if she was listening, she knew I noticed the little things, that they didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.
I also mentioned how my mother would pray that Bonnie would find another husband because she’s such a great woman and deserves to be loved. And how thankful we were to hear that she had found a Chief Petty Officer named Dan. I talked about her telling me the good news and asking her what her new last name would be, and she said, “Stangel. You can remember how to spell it correctly because it’s St (Saint) angel.” And then I explained how thankful we were for Dan, this saint of a man, to take care of our angel. When Bonnie fell ill, I knew she was going to be well cared for because Dan is a man of his word, of honor, and integrity. And when he vowed to be with her through sickness and in health, that’s something I know he’d never break. And yes, I did think about how it applied to my situation.
On the way there, I pondered if it would be awkward at all for Dan to bring his wife home to be buried with another man. But Dan is the epitome of selflessness, and as he spoke, you could tell all he wanted to do was fulfill the wishes of the person he loved most, and understood how much it meant to Amy. Which was something I didn’t consider. Since she never knew her father, I again underestimated how big of a deal it was for her to reunite her parents. I was thinking about that at church the next morning and texted Amy that there’s something beautiful knowing that this was the first time in 45 years her parents were reunited, side by side.
After the service, we all met and ate at a local restaurant. Despite their overrated chicken-fried steak, it was a great time to share stories. One gentleman served with Amy’s father in the Air Force and was a close friend. He was deployed somewhere and never felt closure on missing out on attending his good friend’s funeral until this graveside service. And he drove from Colorado Springs to make it so. Some great photos were displayed on the table, and a photo album was passed around. I smiled when I saw that Amy made sure to include photos of my mom, children, and me with her. Speaking of which. I tend to get a little sad that no one is around to include me in their pictures. My kids get a photo album each Christmas, which goes over the year, but I’m not in any of them. But I tell you what tugged on my heart strings a bit, Amy took the very last hug Aunt Bonnie and I had together.
But it was this one photo of her being a free spirit riding on the back of her husband’s motorcycle with her arms stretched out and carefree. She looks so at peace at that moment, and I can tell that there is absolutely nothing else she would rather be doing.
Once we went outside after eating, we were immediately hit with a hailstorm and didn’t have time for formal goodbyes. But I made sure to text before driving off.
