Bag of Randomness for the Last Friday of September 2016

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Angry Deer

Dash cam video from a Howell Township police officer shows a deer attempt to jump into a vehicle on Oak Glen Road. (Courtesy of Howell police)

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Bag of Randomness for Thursday, September 29, 2016

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  • If I was MTV, I’d create a show dedicated to homecoming and prom-proposals.
  • If I was Lifetime, I’d create a show dedicated to how big or one-sided a person can make a divorce.
  • The State Fair of Texas is about to start. I’m highly suspect of the safety of any fair ride.
  • McDonald’s flagship burger is the Big Mac, and it makes sense for their combo meal to Combo #1. Same goes for Burger King and their Whopper. But Arby’s puzzles me. When you think of Arby’s you think of roast beef, but their roast beef sandwich is Combo#5.  For some reason, brisket is their first combo meal.
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  • Dallas makes the list
    • The Independent – The world’s least friendly cities, from Miami to Macau
      • Texas is a land apart, a big-hearted state with three warm and welcoming cities: Houston, Austin and San Antonio. But not Dallas. I first visited “The Big D” in 1994. I don’t want to be loved, when I go to a new city. But I do like to feel as though I am appreciated at least for the income I bring. But I found Dallas grudging. “Shopping and eating,”, said one Dallasite I met, “that’s all this town is good for.“ Since then I have returned several times; I have been engrossed by the Sixth Floor Museum (from where, allegedly, the shots that killed President Kennedy were fired) and the stunning Dallas Museum of Art. But I still find it a city that does not care for the visitor, in both senses. 
        • I’m not saying I agree with this guy, and this has nothing to do with how friendly folks are, but I tell people all the time that DFW is a great place to live, but not to visit, it’s just not that touristy.
        • I had no idea Dallas has a karaoke taxi service.
  • I think Boston is one of the best cities to visit as an adult, I loved that Freedom Trail, all you have to do is follow a red line all around the city and take in American history. And then they have great places like Faneuil Hall, Little Italy,  and the duck boats. They may even have an Arby’s.
  • I’m an avid viewer of FXX’s ‘You’re The Worst’. It usually is immaturely and darkly funny, but sometimes it gets real. Last night, the entire episode featured what it’s like to go through a day with PTSD, and it was close to heartbreaking.
  • In case you ever wanted to know what it’s like to have dyslexia.
  • I wonder if Baylor was in a financially strong conference with plenty of members, like the SEC and B1G with 14 each, would they have been kicked out by now.
  • I never liked how college conferences with numbers in their names don’t have the same number of schools – The Big 12 has 10, the Big 10 has 14, but at least the Pac-12 has 12.
  • If I see someone wearing a Baylor shirt, I’d say there’s about a 65% chance they are Baptist. If I see someone wearing an SMU shirt, I’d say there’s about a 15% chance they are Methodist. If I see someone with a TCU shirt, I’d say there’s a 10% chance they attend a church. If I see someone wearing a BYU shirt, I’d say there’s 100% chance they are Mormon. If someone is wearing an HSU shirt, I question their judgement.
  • Most already thought they were closed – Twelve of the 13 remaining Black-Eyed Pea restaurants in Texas have abruptly closed almost ten months after the company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
  • Texas prisons ban books by Langston Hughes and Bob Dole – but ‘Mein Kampf’ is OK
  • Kate McKinnon To Star As Hillary Clinton, Alec Baldwin As Trump In SNL’s Mock Debates
  • The Cavs owner is reportedly going to give championship rings to janitors, food vendors and police, much scaled down version, of course.
  • Army apologizes after errant tweet calls Trump a liar
  • I have a friend who is moving back to Dallas and I thought I’d make a David Letterman style Top Ten list – “Top Ten Things That Have Changed Since James Moved From Dallas”. Here’s a rough draft, some are as lame as the ones that actually appeared on Letterman’s.
    • 1. The area is now known as DFFWW – Dallas Frisco Fort Worth Weatherford
      2. John Wiley Price is mayor.
      3. All roads are now toll roads, even driveways. Tolltags are now an embedded chip place just beneath the skin behind the left ear.
      4. The Rangers now play near downtown Dallas at George W. Bush Field.
      5. First Baptist Dallas allows First Islam Dallas to use its facilities when not in use. However, First Baptist Dallas is always in use.
      6. The City of Dallas sold Dealey Plaza. It was bought by a private firm and in its place is a firing range.
      7. American Airlines and Southwest Airlines have merged and are now SouthAmerican Airlines. Neither operate out of Love or DFW, but at the new airport in Frisco, Cruz International Airport. The airport code CIA keeps conspiracy theorists away.
      8. Near Year’s Eve festivities are back at Victory Plaza complete with a countdown clock made by “Clock Boy” Ahmed Mohamed.
      9. That Trinity River project finally is complete and a makeover of Fair Park finally happened.
      10. The Cowboys now play at Southlake Carroll ISD’s football stadium, the largest and most luxurious sports venue in the world.
      11. Ed Young and Robert Jeffress founded the world’s largest church, First Metroplex.
      12. Dirk retired is now is coaching the Dallas Wings.
      13. The TICKET is now a television station.
      14. Jerry still owns the Cowboys, but lost the GM role to Dale Hansen as a result of a Johnnie Walker Blue drinking competition. The only witness of the event was a Deep Throat informant who made an exclusive appearance on the Dunham and Miller show.
      15. After the Rangers left for Dallas, the Stars moved to the Ballpark in Arlington. Low attendance is blamed because they play in the summer heat in an open-air facility with little shade.
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