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ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later
how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we
can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in
the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their
way.  This is what they live for.

4. Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.

5. Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All
y’all’s” is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, “You ain’t from around here, are you?”

7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph
zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks
learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is
the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” Stay
out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

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Let’s hope that nothing ever goes wrong while astronauts are preparing to launch on their Ares 1 rocket – the new vehicle that will replace the space shuttle. But if there is a problem, and the astronauts need to escape right now, they’ll have a fun ride down – on the 3rd tallest roller coaster in the world. It’s called the Orion Emergency Egress System, but really, it’s a roller coaster, designed to get the astronauts away from the vehicle and into a protective bunker in moments.

NASA called in the world’s roller coaster designers to help them create the system. In fact, from a height of 116 metres (380 feet), the Orion Emergency Egress System would be the third tallest roller coaster in the world, after the Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey, and the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio.

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Think of the most sacred thing in your life, think of the most precious thing and put the swastika into that place. Put the swastika into your heart. Put the swastika on your altar. Put the swastika on the image you use to represent God, love, peace, or the cosmos. Put the swastika on the thing that makes you happy. You will begin to see what the swastika has meant to humans over this entire planet for all of our human history. For these places are exactly the places it occupied for thousands of years until the Second World War, when it fell victim to a chronic infection.

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A Canadian girls hockey team around 1916.