Santa Claus is coming to town — for 34 microseconds

956091694_156e5ee080_m.jpgChristmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world’s children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus’s route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told AFP.

“We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometer (120 per square mile) on Earth, and 20 metres (66 feet) between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth’s rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents,” he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco’s report on Santa’s most efficient route — which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours — shows that he wouldn’t be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

“He has 34 microseconds at each stop” to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa’s reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa’s sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Link

1 Comment

Rudolph and Santa: Lookin’ good for 43

I always liked this claymation special . . . 

Original Santa Claus and Rudolph puppets from the TV special ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,’ are seen on display at the Time and Space Toys booth during the Mid-Ohio-Con comic book convention in Columbus, Ohio, Sunday, Nov. 25, 2007. Kevin Kriess, owner of the Pittsburgh, Penn., store found the puppets and had them restored after they were used as toys.

Full Article

real_rudolph_ny373.jpg

1 Comment

Man planned his funeral, wrote own humorous obituary

Marcus McDonald knew his time was short. He had lung cancer. His condition was deteriorating this fall.

So, McDonald, looking to spare his family the stress, picked out his own casket, made all his funeral arrangements and started writing his obituary Sept. 14 to spread the word of Jesus Christ, share his love for his wife and four daughters — and share his laid-back style of humor.

“I am writing this obituary, while still alive … so my family doesn’t have to go through this,” he wrote in the obit published in The State on Saturday, two days after he died. He was 58.

“My funeral will be held Monday at 2 p.m. … at Faith Presbyterian Church with interment immediately thereafter in Bush River Road Memorial Gardens. Sorry to have you driving all over the place from the church to the cemetery, but it’s my funeral and I don’t want to hear any excuses for not staying for the interment!”

Full Article       a

2 Comments

Grandmother saved by daughter’s poo

A grandmother who contracted a potentially fatal superbug in Scotland has been saved after a hospital fed her daughter’s faeces to her.

Ethel McEwan, an 83-year-old from Guardbridge, Fife, was near death after contracting Clostridium Difficile, the Daily Record reported.

But she was saved after receiving a “faecal transplant” from her daughter, Winnifred.

The treatment involves liquidising a sample of faeces from a close relative of the patient, and feeding the liquid down a tube into the stomach.

The treatment restores the bacteria to levels at which they help the recovery process.

“When you tell people about the treatment, they wrinkle their noses,” Mrs McEwan told the Daily Record.

“But it’s not like they put it on a plate and have you eat it. You don’t ever see or smell a thing.

Link

Comments Off on Grandmother saved by daughter’s poo