Military lion shorn of his equipment after women troops protest

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The proud motto of northern Europe’s crack rapid-reaction force is ad omnia paratus. Prepared for everything, everywhere. But the heraldic lion above the Latin tag now sends a less plucky message – he has just been digitally emasculated and, though technically still a lion rampant, he does not seem to be ready for anything, anywhere.

The change was implemented after a group of women Swedish soldiers protested that they could not identify with such an ostentatiously male lion on their army crest. A complaint of sex discrimination was then lodged with the European Court of Justice.

“We were forced to cut the lion’s willy off with the aid of a computer,” Christian Braunstein, from the Tradition Commission of the Swedish Army, said.

Now the Nordic Battlegroup, a force of 2,400 soldiers, is looking deeply embarrassed. For sceptics who already consider the Nordic Battlegroup to be something of an oxymoron – it is led by the Swedes, who were last in battle in 1809 – the operation on the lion is not an auspicious omen.

“A castrated lion – the perfect symbol for European defence policy,” an American military blogger sneered.

There are 18 battle groups in the European Union and the Nordic one, comprising Sweden, Finland, Norway, Estonia and Ireland, goes on standby on January 1, 2008.

Most upset, though, was Vladimir Sagerlund, the designer of the crest from the National Archives. “A heraldic lion is a powerful and stately figure with its genitalia intact and I cannot approve an edited image,” he told öteborgs-Posten, a Swedish daily.

“The Army lacks knowledge about heraldry. Coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Crown.”

The Swedish Army still has crests that feature well-hung animals, some of which were also designed by Mr Sagerlund. The eight-legged horse that represents the Logistics unit of the Swedish Army has a distinct bump. Various home army groupings also have crests that feature visibly male animals.

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Bank Robbery Capitals

• Atlanta: 350
• Los Angeles 338
• Philadelphia 316
• Dallas 297
• Boston 255

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24-Hour Michael Bolton Station Declares Bankruptcy

boltonfm.jpgAustin, TX – 12/3/07 — Austin, Texas fans of the singer Michael Bolton will have one less thing to celebrate this holiday season. The 24-hour Michael Bolton radio station will be going off their airwaves later today.

For nearly five months, “Bolton 106 FM” has been a dream come true for die-hard Michael Bolton fans. The venue played Bolton songs around the clock, breaking only for advertisements and tidbits of Michael Bolton trivia.

The all-Bolton radio station was the brainchild of Austin entrepreneur Bolton Michaels. Michaels first heard of Michael Bolton five years ago, when somebody pointed out that his name was basically “Michael Bolton” in reverse. Before that, Michaels had never heard of the singer.

“It was the greatest day of my life,” he explained. “I checked the guy out because people were always making jokes about my name, and I fell in love at first listen. Not love love, mind you … just artistic love. I started planning the radio station the following year.”

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I wonder who will post an Office Space joke first, and I wonder which Office Space Michael Bolton reference will appear first?

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Tank On Empty

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How far can you go after the gas light in your car comes on?

Find out here.

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