The World’s Most Successful Megachurch Imposter

I’ve posted something related to this in the past, but VICE has more on the guy.

Joel Osteen is one of the most famous televangelists in the world. A Houston based pastor, Joel is famous for his arena-sized congregations, his globally broadcast sermons, and more recently, his refusal to open his church after Hurricane Harvey. Even Oprah is a fan. In this episode of Fame-ish, Vice meets Michael Klimkowski, a struggling comedian in LA with an uncanny likeness to the famous pastor. 

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Bag of Randomness for Tuesday, April 17, 2018

  • I desperately want to recreate this photo with WifeGeeding.
  • This past Saturday, HBO aired an Elvis documentary, Elvis Presley: The Searcher. The week before that, HBO aired the Joe Paterno film which starred Al Pacino and Elvis’ granddaughter, Riley Keough. April was a big month for the family of Elvis.
  • The documentary was long, perhaps close to three-and-a-half hours, but I enjoyed it.
    • Tom Petty provided a lot of commentary, as did Bruce Springsteen. They were fortunate to get Petty when they had the chance. You also never saw anyone providing commentary on camera, it was just their voices. If I didn’t have Closed Captioning on, I probably wouldn’t have noticed who was speaking.
    • I was surprised a bit disappointed the documentary didn’t mention anything about his impromptu visit to see President Nixon. Sadly, Nixon didn’t have his taping system installed yet so their conversation was never recorded.
    • I also hoped the document would lightly touch on Elvis earning a black belt.
    • I had no idea Elvis never performed outside the U.S. It was all because of his manager, Col. Tom Parker, who wasn’t a U.S. citizen was worried if he left he wouldn’t be let back in.
    • Springsteen mentioned that Elvis was only himself on stage and didn’t know what it was like to be normal at home, that he had to try to figure out what normal was when off stage. I bet that’s true of a lot of artists used to performing live.
  • When it comes to honoring a loved one a friend may have recently lost, I often pass on sending flowers and will make a donation in honor the deceased, and I try to make it relatable. In the case of my friend Jimi, Alcoholics Anonymous was a huge part of his life. I tried to make a donation in his memory but was surprised they don’t accept donations from non-members. When I try to donate I get this message, “In keeping with A.A.’s Seventh Tradition of self-support, we accept contributions only from A.A. members.
  • Hey, Bono, I know you are in town tonight. If you need a place to sleep tonight, GeedManor will be ready for you.
  • I loved ‘Night Court’. Rest in peace Judge Harold T. Stone. I love the story of how he got his appointment. The outgoing Mayor of NYC made a huge number of appointments on his last day (Thanksgiving, I think) and Harry was the only person on the judges’ list who was home and was able to receive the call and accept his nomination.
  • I don’t watch MSNBC, but they decided to no longer run a news ticker at the bottom of their screen.
  • How to Drink Tea Like a Royal, According to a Royal Butler
    • Add milk to your tea after you’re poured it from the teapot, never before.
    • And when it comes to stirring your tea, you want to do so in a back and forth motion rather than a circular one.
    • And don’t worry about holding your pinkie out.
  • A trauma surgeon explains the bloody reality of keeping gunshot victims alive
  • The New York Times has an article about what cheerleaders of professional sports franchises have to go through with fans. Here’s a snippet:
    • “We were taught, if someone’s getting handsy on you, how to navigate that,” said the former longtime Cowboys cheerleader. “We were told what to say, like, ‘That’s not very nice,’ To be sweet, not rude. Say, ‘Can I ask you to step over here?’ Use body language to help deter the situation. Never be mean. Never. Always courteous. Because if it’s not for the fans, we wouldn’t be here — that’s how we were supposed to think of this. Now I’m like, no, we shouldn’t be trained on how to handle that situation. We should be trained how to raise our hand and say, ‘Security, get this man away from me!’ I wish I could tell my 20-year-old self that.”
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Bag of Randomness for Monday, April 16, 2018

  • Loyal BoN readers know about my best buddy since kindergarten, Jimi. Saturday was his birthday, but the day before, Friday the 13th of all days, he contacted me and told me his father died. It was an accident on a construction site, a bad fall.
  • Jimi’s father was not really a part of his life growing up. As long as I’ve known Jimi his parents have been divorced. But over the last decade, they started to become closer. I doubt either would say they made up for lost time, but they were getting closer. As a matter of fact, Jimi was a few weeks away from moving in with him. About five or so years ago Jimi’s father had a liver transplant and Jimi helped out as much as he could financially and in any other way you could think of.
  • I’ve only met Jimi’s father three times. He took us to the city park in Mineral Wells when we were in elementary school. I met him once in high school or college, and one final time at Jimi’s college graduation. As you know, I’m half-Asian, so there was always a camera in hand. That half of me totally lives up to the stereotype, I always try to capture memories because I hold on to the past more than I live for the future. I asked if I could get a picture of them together, and they begrudgingly agreed. It’s a bit of a funny picture since you can see the uncomfortableness in their faces and the space they keep between them.
  • The Dallas Morning News story about Jimi’s father’s death was interesting to follow. I found it in the morning and it was very vague and didn’t list his name because they wanted to let the family know first. Then I checked it later in the morning and it provided the location of the accident. When I checked it later in the afternoon it provided his name and more detail. I tweeted the article and to my surprise, one of my BoN readers and now friend, sent me the following text.
  • Jimi would often tell me that his father relied heavily on his AA group and talk about how everyone just loved the guy, and how helpful they were during his liver transplant. He was funny, which is just like Jimi. People just felt comfortable around him and he liked to make people laugh. Again, that’s just like Jimi.
  • Jimi’s father was a big fan of Jimi Hendrix, hence the spelling. His sister is named Geneva because, well, I forget but I’m just going to say it has something to do with the city or that he was drunk while filling out the birth certificate and his handwriting was so sloppy that “Jennifer” was the most legible conclusion.
  • I did call Jimi and Geneva’s mother on Friday. It’s one of only two friend’s phone numbers I can remember from my hometown. They’ve been divorced for forty years and she was just fine; however, she said she just wanted to be around her kids and comfort them. When we ended the call, she told me, “Keith, now you take care of my Jimi.” After the call, she sent me a text. It was a framed picture of her and my mother which sits near the kitchen table. She tells me she looks and thinks of my mother every day.
  • In case you are wondering, I’ve asked both Jimi and the AA member if I could write and share what’s going on.
  • What I find weird is how sad I am about Jimi’s father’s death. I didn’t really know the guy, but I’m really sad that Jimi has to go through something like this, even though we all basically will lose a parent.
  • In other death-related news, R. Lee Ermey died. I first got to know him in the second Fletch movie where he played a corrupt televangelist. Most will remember him as the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. I also enjoyed his History channel show called “Mail Call”.
  • In more death-related news, Barbara Bush appears to be very close to it. Her son, the former president, is scheduled to present Bono the George W. Bush Medal For Distinguished Leadership on Tuesday. My guess is that the event will be canceled or rescheduled, as it should so the former president could be with his mother. Our local paper did interview Bono about the upcoming event.
  • Hey Bono, in case you are reading this. The Mavs and Stars aren’t in the playoffs, so nothing is really happening at the American Airlines Center in the next few months. It sure would be really neat if you could schedule a concert there. Heck, start the tour early and launch it from there.
  • Hackers stole a casino’s high-roller database through a thermometer in the lobby fish tank
  • I don’t really know much about John Mulaney but I thought he had a great SNL opening monolog and did a great job hosting. Deniro was certainly a surprise. I’ve read how many SNL people don’t like working with him because he half-asses it through the show.
  • GIF – In Saving Private Ryan, a bullet goes through a medic’s canteen. Water first starts to pour out then blood.
  • Oh, I met a monkey over the weekend. That’s him on my shoulder. His name was Dallas. I’m kidding, his name wasn’t Dallas, I can’t remember what his name is.
Posted in Personal | 6 Comments

Bag of Randomness for Friday, April 13, 2018

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