I Used To Believe is a funny and bizarre collection of ideas that adults thought were true when they were children. It will remind you what it was like to be a child, fascinated and horrified by the world in equal parts. The following pages will reassure you that the things you used to believe weren’t so strange after all…
Here’s a preview:
- When praying I thought saying Amen at the end of the prayer was the religous version of saying “over and out” at the end of a radio communication.
- As a child I went to a protestant church, but I used to tell people that I was a pedestrian.
- I was convinced that God was married to Mother Nature until I went through Confirmation in the eighth grade.
- I used to believe to believe that you couldn’t drink 7 up unless you were 7 years or older
- I used to believe that if you opened your eyes when you prayed, you would see God and then die.
- I played with Barbies all the time as a little girl, and their lack of nipples led me to believe that my own nipples would fade when I grew up.
- I used to believe that the reason you folded your hands together when you prayed is that your folded hands were the micophone you prayed into so God could hear you
- i used to think easter island was called that because a giant bunny ran around and layed eggs there.
- I thought Richard Nixon was God because he could interrupt any TV show, even on public television
- We all know what going to the toilet and defining what #1 and #2 are, well, I believed that diarrhea was #3 as it seemed to combine 1+2.