Bag of Randomness for Monday, April 25, 2022

  • Scholarship selection weekend was great. Now that I’m a divorced man, I have a greater appreciation for these extraordinary long friendships. While I still haven’t had a belly laugh in over two years, I had one, maybe two, really good laughs. Slowly, I’m coming back together.
  • Regarding the scholarship trustees, four are childhood friends from Mineral Wells. Throughout high school and college, I was always the heaviest. Now, I’m the lightest and only one under 200 lbs. I never thought that day would happen.
  • When you are a full-time dad, you feel responsible for your children’s safety 24/7. When you get divorced, and while you always remain a dad at all times, you are no longer responsible for their safety 24/7, just your court-agreed possession time. So, when the kids do something like fly out of state for a long weekend, it’s a weird kinda feeling. You also want them to have nothing but joy, but you feel bummed you aren’t making lasting memories with them. 
  • My closest peer in a divorce-recovery texted me a photo I sent him one year ago over the weekend. It was of me and my kids on the roof of GeedingManor watching the sunset. In the original text from a year ago, he was checking in on me, because at that time, I was only allowed to see my children nine hours a week. It was interesting looking at my eyes in that photo. They belonged to a broken man, longing for his marriage, already missing his kids, sitting on the roof of the home he doesn’t want to sell, not having any idea of when will the healing process can begin because so much was still ahead of him in terms of the divorce. Rebuilding could only start once the divorce is over, and I still had to finish the court mandated parallel parenting class, get the results of my psych exam, mediation, selling and moving out of the house, the actual divorce, and a hundred of other unplanned and unwelcome things are finished. Otherwise, if you start the rebuilding process too early, everything you worked on may come crashing down and you have to start all over, and I didn’t want to start all over again. While I’m not where I want to be, I have made progress since that photo. It’s a mixture of the simple passage of time, counseling, medication, prayer, and a handful of other things. I just wonder what the percentages of each are . It’s hard to measure that kind of progress. That person in the photo does not know how much stronger he is than he imagined.
  • One thing I wonder is if I’ll ever be able to trust anyone unequivocally again. The last time I thought I could be myself, be transparent with my thoughts and fears, confide my stress and depression, and share all my medical information, that woman left me at my lowest point and continues to work to alienate our children from me. I fear I so desire to love again, I’m going to sacrifice some things I shouldn’t have the first time. If I question integrity, I need to go with my gut and not my heart. So, if your bride doesn’t even glance at you as she walks down the aisle, run. She’s not there for you, she’s there for the show.
  • One thing that bothers me is the person who makes a big deal out of when they are included in the photo, even if they aren’t the main subject. My brother was like that, I feel robbed of many family photos. You miss looking at that stuff when you lose your family. Those folks don’t understand how a small act of humility on their part makes such a difference in someone else’s life. When that person does it, the rest of your time with that person feels like you are walking on eggshells and just can’t act yourself.
  • 13-year-old starting Ph.D program in Theoretical Physics after obtaining bachelor’s degree
  • Texas Tuner Shop Boycotted After Owner Posts Video Rolling Coal On A Cyclist – The Ford driver now blames “cancel culture” for the consequences of his own actions. This comes just a few months after a teen driver ran over six cyclists while rolling coal in the same state.
  • I knew Nocona Boots were made (at one time) in Nocona, Texas. But I didn’t know there was a connection with the Justin Boots company. This is from the founder of Nacona Boots, Enid Justin:
    • Her father was the famed boot-maker Herman Joseph Justin, who cobbled his first pair of boots while working in a Texas barber shop. A student of the boot-making craft herself, Enid opened the Nocona Boot Company in 1925 after her brothers, John, Sr., Avis, and Earl, decided to move her father’s business to Fort Worth, Texas.
  • Renter Had No Idea Five Bears Were Hibernating Under The House
  • The Batman Starring Adam West.. Coming Soon! – The guys who put this together did a great job. You’ll really appreciate it if you’ve seen the new movie or at least the trailer. They actually put together a behind-the-scenes featurette if you want to know how they pulled off the great CGI.
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Bag of Randomness for Friday, April 22, 2022

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Bag of Randomness for Thursday, April 21, 2022

  • Here’s the location of that shipwreck in GoogleMaps, and the Wikipedia entry.
    • MS World Discoverer was a cruise ship designed for and built by Schichau Unterweser, Germany in 1974. In 2000, the ship struck an underwater obstacle and was damaged; it was subsequently grounded–to prevent sinking – and abandoned in the Solomon Islands.
  • This tweet and reply between two Christians caught my attention yesterday.

    • I normally don’t comment on tweets made by people I don’t know, but I caved. I wish I would have proofread it before I posted it, “can” should have been “can’t”.
  • This tweet also gave me some pause, and I spend a long time reading and relating to many of the responses.
  • Tesla record profit blows away estimates
    • It seems like it was just yesterday when conservatives were upset the government were using Tesla and Musk as the latest examples of the left throwing government money at things that were never going to be profitable.
  • This is not the Pentagon in Washington D.C., but an empty shopping mall in China.
  • The kids informed me on top of going to Universal Studios in Orlando this weekend, they will also be making a stop at the Magic Kingdom. That’s where the ex and I spent our honeymoon. I wonder if she’ll think about it when she’s there.
  • I’ve been exploring my feelings about this weekend getaway. I really want the kids to have a fun time and make some great memories, but I think what bothers me is that I feel like I’m being replaced since the ex’s sister and her husband are going. When the ex first left me and the only contact she allowed me to have with my son on his birthday was a five-minute monitored call on speakerphone. I learned the ex’s sister’s husband gave my son what I thought was a rather personal father/son type of gift, and I remember the feeling of being replaced back then. Now, I know most of you will tell me there’s no replacing me as my boy’s father, and I understand the perspective you want me to view this from. But, at the same time, I think you can understand with the way things went down how I feel that I’m marginalized and replaceable. If the ex’s goal was to make me feel this way, mission accomplished. It also doesn’t help that he’s the ex’s mother’s favorite in-law.
  • I think I’ve said it before, but this was the time in our children’s lives I was really looking forward to spending together as a whole family unit. All these years of not traveling because we thought they were too young and saving money for future trips and vacations was right around the corner, and then my family broke apart. It was just one of those life fulfilling dreams that was about to come true and the carpet got pulled from under me.
  • It feels good to be blogging again, and I understand some of you don’t like the transparency, but that’s one thing that makes this blog unique. Some days are better than others. It’s not just like riding a bike again, at least for me. I’m just a guy struggling who is trying to grow and rebuild.
  • Ex-Girlfriend Terrorizes Ex-Partner, Secretly Cancel’s Disney Trip on App
  • Guests Use Baby Hack to Cut Disney Genie+ Cost In Half at Disneyland
  • Someone at Weatherford College needs a lesson in sportsmanship.

  • This 40-second solar eclipse seen from the surface of Mars is sublime
    • However, earlier this month operators of rover turned its powerful Mastcam-Z camera toward the sky to capture Mars’ potato-shaped moon Phobos transiting across the surface of the Sun. And the result, well, the result is spectacular. Phobos is much smaller than Earth’s Moon, measuring only about 20 km across, so it does not plunge Mars into darkness. However, with the moon etched against the Sun, the video reveals the lumpy nature of Phobos’ terrain, complete with ridges and small hills. It also showcases sunspots on the surface of our star.
  • This happened in Houston. I think it’s some sort of mating ritual.

 

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Bag of Randomness for Wednesday, April 20, 2022

  • Small wins. Yesterday was the first time in probably about two years I actually worked out. It was just a light workout, using the elliptical for 20 minutes and doing several light sets of kettlebells. So, the total workout was probably 35-40 minutes. I hope to jump start some endorphins and make this a habit.
  • BoyGeeding shared a sad story with me yesterday. He said he had a hard time with his assignment in art. He was told to draw a family tradition, and that stumped him. The art teacher asked why he wasn’t drawing anything and he said we no longer have family traditions. I spoke with him about that, made sure he felt he was being heard and understood, and then gave him a few ideas of things to draw. For instance, it’s in the decree that I get them every Super Bowl Sunday, so one tradition is for us to watch the Super Bowl together.
  • My ex and our daughter just do not get along. I wish there was some way I could help. I have some ideas and ways we can work together to improve their relationship, but the ex doesn’t want any of my help. Not to mention, if she claims I’m controlling and manipulating, and won’t have a discussion with me on why she feels that way, the worst thing I can do is offer advice or try to help because I’d come off as the very things she claims I am. So, I basically just serve as a sounding board to my daughter and try to get her to at least respect her mother. The person I once knew is no longer there, she’s totally different, and in some ways it’s liberating knowing she’s not longer a part of my everyday life.
  • I watched the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard defamation trial live yesterday when Depp took the stand. I’m not saying anyone is guilty or innocent. But like him, I felt my ex had defamed me by telling others she was emotionally abused and not correcting her family when they told our children I physically hurt her. The first time I ever knew or heard she felt like that was when she said it to a judge. It still boggled my mind she never once informed me how she felt before pulling the kids out of school early and then driving 110 miles away and only communicate to me through her mother. Under her own will, she confessed her infidelity. My feelings were hurt, and I got upset. If anything, I felt emotionally abused and manipulated. Who makes abandonment and divorce their first step after 17-years of marriage and two children in a Christian marriage and not some form of counseling?
  • I’ve been meaning to tell you about my experience of having to take a court mandated psychology examination so that my children could stay overnight with me and I could have more than nine hours a week with them. It was a very traumatic and unnecessary experience. If she didn’t twist my words, get my estranged sister of five years to testify and lie on the stand, exaggerate my depression and the pain medication I take for my back, one wouldn’t have been ordered.
    • It took three visits and about four months for me to complete. It felt like forever between my three appointments. Sessions ranged from two to four hours. Not knowing when he was going to finish writing up his report and turning it in to the court was excruciating. I wanted the process over as fast as possible so I could spend more time with my kids.
    • I had to request my medical records from all my doctors, even my dermatologist and allergist, and have them sent over directly to his office.
    • The court psychologist was straight out of central casting. Dry and emotionless, never smiled once. He often came across as blunt and rude, but in a way as if he wasn’t aware. I never had a clue on where I stood with him. He had a great poker face. It was intimidating as all get out. His office was next to a cemetery, which I feared was foreshadowing.
    • During my first session, I had to fill out a questionnaire or a test of sorts. This was the very first question I had to answer, and I was only provided two lines of space to answer. Keep in mind, access to my children was riding on how I answered – “Describe your childhood.”
      • I can’t exactly remember how I answered, but it was something along the lines of, “I grew up in a middle-income family in a small Texas town to a loving retired Army officer and Vietnamese mother who were 24 years apart in age. I was an A-B student who was active in sports and church youth group. My brother was seven years older and my parents adopted my cousin from Vietnam my senior year in high school.
    • My second session comprised of taking several tests, similar to ink blot tests, puzzles, and quizes which had no rhyme or reason. It was nerve-racking leaving having no sense where I stood or how well or bad I did.
    • I learned my ex was interviewed, there was no telling how she distorted things.
    • In my third session, I had to orally answer a lot of questions. The first question was to tell him about all my past romantic relationships. Well, my ex was my only girlfriend and the only person I’ve ever kissed. That was a special gift I wanted to give her, one she never appreciated.
    • Once the report was finally written and provided to my attorney, I made sure to show it to my soon to be ex as soon as possible. Just seeing my kids nine hours a week was killing me, and I wasn’t able to give them a kiss goodnight throughout this entire ordeal. The report said I was not a threat or danger to myself or others and there was no need to restrict the children from me. She had plans that evening and I was hoping to watch the kids when she went out with her friends. Who better to watch the kids than their own father in their own home? Well, she felt the kids were better off being watched by a young teenage boy. I wasn’t going to  allow her or her lawyer to have a copy of it until an NDA was signed. There’s no telling how she’ll use it against me. And I’m certain she’s already broken the NDA by telling her mother, sisters, and best friend everything she could remember or even providing them a copy she got from he lawyer. She and her attorney drug their feet making me wait an entire week before giving me more time with the kids. They finally got to have an overnight visit with me the last week of their summer vacation.
    • What hurt through this whole process was how she alienated the kids from me. She kept saying she wanted to go by exactly what the judge said. But the judge said we could mutually agree to more than what’s on the order, and there were times she bent the rules. Like, when she was having a mattress delivered and she let me have the kids an hour longer. So, anytime it was in her benefit. But it was cruel not wanting me to see them on Father’s Day. What really stung was the last week of school in which she had to attend teacher work days and the kids didn’t attend school. I lived less than a mile away from her apartment, and since I worked from home, I could easily watch the kids when she was at work, like we always have done. The kids even wanted to stay with me when she was at work. But to alienate the kids from me, she arranged for her mother and sister to alternate days, driving 110 miles away, just to watch the kids in her apartment that whole week. What she doesn’t understand to this day is her actions set a precedent for how we handle things now. I plan for the future and make my decisions based on her past actions.  You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
    • These women claim to follow Christ, but nothing about this process was Christ-like. She was never willing to verbally talk and meet with me, even with a third-party of her choice. What’s funny is her maiden name has two t’s – the Christian symbol for a cross. When you take that first symbol of Christianity out, you are literally left with “Satan”.
  • The judge also ordered both of us to take a six week parallel parenting course. Each class lasted three hours. It was excruciating having to be with her and hearing the instructor tell us over and over again about our failed marriage. The instructor’s last name was a bit ominous. Her name was “Threats”, but it was pronounced in a way that rhymes with “streets”. Yesterday I was talking to a friend in a divorce support group and he was telling me about his experience with their child facilitator, who has the name “Savage”.
  • Amid a teacher shortage, some Texas educators are losing their licenses for quitting during the school year
  • Netflix Loses 200,000 Subscribers in Q1, Predicts Loss of 2 Million More in Q2
  • States with the Highest & Lowest Tax Rates
    • Texas residents also don’t pay income tax, but spend 1.8% of their income on real estate taxes, one of the highest rates in the country. Compare these to California, where residents owe almost 5% of their income in sales and excise taxes, and just 0.76% in real estate tax.
    • This was the top comment in the Texas subreddit I found this story in.
      • Corporate and personal income taxes are low and zero, respectively.
      • Sales taxes are on par with most western states, above average for eastern states.
      • Property taxes are high, a combination of high statutory rates, soaring home prices, and lack of income taxes.
      • The government’s user charges and fees for things like vehicle registration tend to be low.
      • Gasoline taxes are low, but road tolls are high.
      • Utility prices are often below average, but electricity costs more than it should, especially after last year’s winter storm.

      Overall, Texas has clearly graduated into a medium cost of living state with at least a medium tax burden. Certain cities like Austin and Dallas can be on the higher side of medium, while other areas are still medium or lower medium. For the upper half of Texans, the spread between wages and cost of living still seems to be good. This isn’t the case for the lower half of Texans, especially with cost-of-living inflation over the past decade compared to wage growth.

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