Your Bag of Randomness for Friday, July 19, 2024

  • There’s an old joke that politicians like Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have told on themselves. It goes something like this: An old rancher is talking about politics with a young man from the city. He compares a politician to a ‘post-turtle.’ The confused young man asks him what a post-turtle is. The old man says, “When you’re driving down a country road, and you see a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post-turtle. You know he didn’t get up there by himself. He doesn’t belong there; you wonder who put him there; he can’t get anything done while he’s up there, and you want to help the poor, dumb thing down.” President Biden is that turtle right now, and from what I’ve read and heard, by Monday, he’ll announce he won’t be seeking re-election. I’m not sure there’s a dignified way to go about this, but here’s what I think we’ll be reading by Monday morning.
    • Biden will not resign.
    • Presidential historian Jon Meacham will help him put together an eloquent speech, and we’ll remember it like LBJ’s, “I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your president.” Heck, if I were advising Biden. I’d use those exact same words.
    • Biden will not endorse Harris or anyone else.
    • There will be an open convention with Harris and three, maybe four others.
    • Super delegates will not be allowed to vote on the first ballot.
    • Should she get the nomination, Harris will choose Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear or Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro as her running mate. I’d advise Shapiro since Pennsylvania is a big swing state.
  • Even though Trump milked the firefighter bit, it seemed genuine for him.
  • If it’s obvious this isn’t your father’s Republican party, perhaps Kid Rock yelling, “Trump’s the shit!” is your sign.
  • I’m amazed that we haven’t seen the 43rd president at the last three GOP conventions. It’s a different time, for sure.

  • If you read this post before 12:35 AM, something else was in this bullet point. I removed it because I didn’t want to sound bitter and regret anything. That doesn’t mean I’m still not bitter; I just don’t want to sound or appear bitter. Or, at least, that bitter. I’ll just say it had something to do with justice and integrity.
  • This is the most evil and sinister thing I’ve heard in a while- A neo-Nazi extremist group conspired to have an associate dress up as Santa Claus and hand out poisoned sweets to Jewish kids in New York. I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to Jewish customs and New York, but I had the impression that Jewish parents would discourage their kids from taking candy from a symbol or character of a different faith. For instance, I’m trying to imagine a Southern Baptist parent feeling comfortable accepting candy from a person dressed as a Hindu deity. Perhaps all of this is apples and oranges.
  • A company owned by former President Donald Trump is selling a limited edition pair of sneakers depicting the 2024 Republican presidential nominee’s bloody face in the immediate aftermath of Saturday’s assassination attempt. Available at GetTrumpSneakers.com, the “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT High-Tops” retail for $299 a pair and honor what the site says is Trump’s “unwavering determination and bravery.” According to the site, only 5,000 of the sneakers have been made, and 10 random buyers will receive sneakers signed by Trump himself.
  • Canadian news – B.C. woman who thought Coldplay concert ‘was a date’ must pay ex for ticket, tribunal rules
  • ‘Kidulting’: How adults are becoming the top toy buyers
  • Kentucky motel ordered to pay $2 million after guest dies from 150-degree shower – 76-year-old Alex Chronis sustained third-degree burns and spent months in the hospital before he died.
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