BLAINE, Wash. – A 13-year-old boy hopes to win a balloon-blowing record by a nose.
Blowing through one nostril at a time, Andrew Dahl inflated 213 balloons within an hour Friday — a feat that has been submitted for review by Guinness World Records.
His father, Doug Dahl, measured the balloons to make sure each was at least 20 centimeters, the minimum diameter, and his mother, Wendy Dahl, kept the tally.
At one point he asked, “Does this count as practicing my trumpet?” His mother replied, “Only if you can play that with your nose.”
Andrew’s first attempt — 184 balloons in February — was rejected because his father tied the balloons. This time he tied them off himself.
This can’t be good. You know how Internet porn people can’t resist using anything that involves the word “blow” as a new angle. Nostril size might become a new yardstick for erotic beauty in the next ten years and now all I can see is hordes of Karl Malden and Jimmy Durante -esque women.
Ow, my brain.