Man, it was a very busy weekend, and there’s a lot I’d like to share, but I’m swamped for time so I’m just throwing together what I can right now.
On certain windy days when the temperature is a bit crisp and the wind blocks out all background noise, time feels like it stops and freezes for a few moments.
I’ve followed Rachel Held Evans for many years and became a big fan. Not so much that I bought any of her books, but I certainly read every article she wrote and followed her on Twitter. She may have been a woman, but she had a pair of brass balls. The non-traditional and non-conformist Christian author died at the age of 37. She had the flu and ended up having seizures after an allergic reaction to antibiotics and was put in a medical coma. People like her made me feel comfortable questioning the Christian establishment, consider different perspectives and how to go about looking at things from those perspectives, and learn that you don’t have to feel like you have all the answers, not everything is as black and white as it seems, that there’s beauty in the shades of grays. Hell, I think if grace had a color, it would be gray. But not only did she question the establishment and cause them to look at themselves, but she also did it with tact and grace and never abandoned her faith. It’s one thing for me to have a silly little blog, but she would discuss these sharp-edged issues in person and there’s no doubt a plethora of trolls flexed their internet muscles at her. Yet, she was resolute, absolutely resilient. As Lent started I’m sure she thought she’d live through it, we all did. Life will take that unexpected turn, sometimes much sharper than we can ever imagine. Death, the great equalizer, it will humble the shit out of us quickly.
I’m not planning on dying soon and not going through any more depression than usual, but I enjoy thinking about my funeral and planning things out. I haven’t made any formal plans. As an introvert and someone who feels uncomfortable when given any attention, funeral planning is like throwing a party you always wanted for yourself but know you can never attend, and that’s really freeing. A lot of these thoughts came to mind thinking of Rachel Held Evans and then watching Adam Sandler’s tribute to his late friend Chris Farley. I’ve mentioned I’m a sucker for watching the end of the show in which the guest host stands on stage with all the cast members and thanks the audience as the band starts playing and the credit rolls. I think it would be neat to have that song played at the very end of my funeral as everyone is exiting into the foyer where some sort of buffet (most likely catered by Hutchins BBQ and Babe’s Chicken Diner) will be served.