Bag of Randomness

  • If there is one thing that WifeGeeding loves about being pregnant, it’s the ability to place a cup or bowl on her stomach.  In this case, she’s eating graham crackers with milk.
  • Most of our weekend was spent at a “Prepared Childbirth” class at the hospital we plan on delivering at.  Overall it was very helpful and answered a lot of questions covering vaginal births, c-sections, epidurals, breastfeeding, and just about everything else that deals with the delivery of a baby and came complete with a tour of all the facilities.
  • Several doctors also spoke and answered our questions.  From what I remember, a delivery
    doc, anesthesiologist, and  a pediatrician spoke.
  • I don’t think I heard the word “vagina” or its variations so much in my life in such a short timespan.
  • When the class gather all of us sat in chairs that were positioned in a horseshoe type fashion and as we were going through introductions and each couple stated what they were having, a boy or a girl.  Turns out, without any prior planning as we got to choose our own seats, all the expecting boy-couples sat on one side and all the expecting girl-couples sat directly opposite, so the room was divided equally.
  • It’s interesting to see how people dress coming to these things.  For instance, there was this one diva you came in overly dressed when everyone else was wearing shorts, jeans, and athletic wear.  When it came time asking who was considering umbilical cord blood blanking, they were the only couple.
  • One question that I thought was a little silly for some of the couples to ask was “Is this your first?”  because if you already had kids, you really didn’t need the class.  I guess I could see reasons why, but the class is designed for first time parents.
  • Of all the couples in the room, only one did not have a husband or male partner, but instead had her mother attend.  From the looks of it, and I could be wrong, but it looks like she is going to be a young single mother.
  • That mother was quite interesting.  She sounded like she smoked a pack of cigarettes and hour and walked in with a matching Harley-Davidson pillow and blanket.  For instance there was this one part of class that each couple was given a bag at random, and as went around one-by-one pulling the item out of the bag and discussed how we might use that item for post-delivery stuff.  During that time, HarleyMom pulled out a cold compressed and said, word for word, “Oh, this is what you need to put on your taint when you get home from the hospital.”
  • You can tell most of the room was trying to keep from laughing, except for WifeGeeding, who actually had to excuse herself from the room because she was laughing so hard.
  • The instructor, who was a bit older, had a puzzled look on her face, and said, “Taint . . . I don’t think I ever heard that word before.”  She even used the word a few times, as if she didn’t want HarleyMom to feel uncomfortable blurting it out.
  • HarleyMom continued to use that word about four more times that day to the chagrin of her daughter.
  • It was all reminiscent of this scene in the movie Baby Mama.
  • One thing I really didn’t know, or even considered to think about, was that the mamma actually poos during delivery but more than likely never realizes it.  Isn’t nature beautiful.
  • I noticed there is not as much hand-sanitizer as there use to be, I guess that’s because it’s no longer flu season and the swine flu is pretty much controlled.
  • We finally registered for some baby stuff.
  • I watched the first episode of the HBO mini-series The Pacific.  Darn fine stuff.
  • I also caught Celebrity Apprentice as well, and I admit, I like it.
  • Man, I had some crazy Glenn Beck comments the other day.
  • Peter Graves, I loved you in Airplane!. RIP.
  • Agassi and Samprass played in a celebrity tournament with Nadal and Federer as partners.  The players are mic’d, and things get a bit competitive and testy.  YouTube
  • The education department is buying 27 shotguns
  • Clips like this makes me want to find stuff around the house and take it to Antique Road Show.  I love her reaction when she gets the grand total . . . damn.
  • Speaking of education, here’s an update on what the conservative  Texas education board decided on curriculum.
  • I think my wife wants this Mario shelf
  • Best Jobs in America
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4 Responses to Bag of Randomness

  1. dan says:

    "Man, I had some crazy Glenn Beck comments the other day" Your blog really generates a lot of comments whenever you post about religion or politics. The Glenn Beck post combined the two: the daily double!

    When some of the people on "Antiques Road Show" explain how they came by their treasures I become suspicious. "Our elderly neighbor, who was suffering from dementia, said we could take anything we wanted from her house when she died so we pulled this ancient vase out of her house as soon as…"

    The only problem I have with "The Band of Brothers" and "The Pacific" is that after watching an hour of gore, mayhem and atrocities in prime time It's difficult for me to drift off into a comforting sleep.

  2. Nathan S. says:

    Band of Brothers is my favorite, so I ordered HBO just to watch the Pacific. Definitely good stuff. I don't smoke, but after watching a few episodes of that stuff, I really feel like I need a smoke to calm my nerves.

  3. petridish says:

    my husband and i attended a similar class before having our first kid. Just like your class there was one "girl" who was young and alone. The instructor asked her where her partner was and she said he was serving in Iraq and probably wouldn't be back in time for the birth. The instructor said, "no worries, we often video tape the birth or stream it live for fathers who are overseas. And we don't do "twat shots" so you don't have to worry about anyone seeing your business". My husband spit his drink across the room and we both laughed harder than we ever have in our marriage. We couldn't keep our composure and no one else laughed in the room. We seriously laughed/cried/belly ached for 15 minutes and the instructor finally said, "do I need to separate you two or ask you to leave?" and she was serious. I finally had to get up and excuse myself cause I kept seeing the look on my husbands face every time I closed my eyes and then I'd start laughing all over again. I had never heard anyone use that word so flippantly and especially coming from a medical professional….it was so surreal.

    A while later we were discussing the dangers of paper shredders and how babies fingers can fit into the shredders teeth. The Instructor also informed us dog tongues have been reported as fitting thru. Then the couple next to us, serious as the day is long, raised their hand and asked if cat tongues also fit into shredders. That was it. I was done. We had to leave.

    It was the most bizzare-o world thing we've ever attended.

  4. Richard says:

    You need to roll tape on the Pacific so I can come over and check it out.

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