– Don’t worry, your dad didn’t know what he was doing, either.
– Your child, at birth, already has a deeply complicated relationship with his mother, and, for the first year, you are only a curiosity.
– The first time you change your son’s diaper and he pees all over you is not an accident. It’s foreshadowing.
– Beware your child’s uncles, who will teach your kid dirty words, introduce him to liquor, and give him gifts of drums, archery sets, and possibly matches.- They never really outgrow the claw.